Affair Jokes / Recent Jokes

A - Bill Clinton
B - Warren G. Harding
C - Andrew Jackson
D - Thomas Jefferson
E - Lyndon B. Johnson
F - John F. Kennedy
G - Franklin D. Roosevelt
H - George Washington
1. Which president smoked marijuana with a nude playgirl while he joked about being too wasted to "push the button" in case of nuclear attack?
2. Which president allegedly had affairs with both a winner AND a finalist in the Miss America pageant?
3. Which president had sex with one of his secretaries stretched out atop a desk in the oval office?
4. Which president allegedly had an affair (as well as children) with a slave who was his wife's half sister?
5. Which president called his mistress "Pookie"?
6. Which president married a woman who hadn't yet divorced her first husband, and was branded an "adulterer" during his re-election campaign?
7. Which future president wrote love letters to his neighbor's wife while he was engaged to more...

A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One
afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place
where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. When they were
finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o'clock that night.
They got dressed quickly. Then the man asked his secretary to take his
shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she did as he asked,
thinking him pretty weird. The man finally got home and his wife met him at the
door. Upset, she asked where he'd been. The man replied, "I can not tell a lie.
My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the
afternoon making love, and then fell asleep. That's why I'm late."
The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes, and yelled, "I can
see those are grass stains on your shoes. YOU LIAR! You've been playing golf
again, haven't you?"

A doctor from Canada was having an affair with one of his female co-workers. One day she announced to him that she was pregnant with his child. The doctor gave her enough money to fly to California and live their until the child was born. He gave her instructions to send him a postcard with the word SAURKRAUT on it when she gave birth. About nine months later the doctor arrived home when his wife handed him a postcard. "Here", she said. "This came in the mail today". The doctor took the postcard and it read... SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT TWO WITH WEINERS & ONE WITHOUT!

A guy named Jack was having an affair with a married woman. He was at her house one night while her husband was away on business and they were really into making love when they heard the front door open.
"Oh no! It's my husband!" the woman said." He'll kill you. Quick I've got an idea."
The woman took him into the bathroom and rubbed baby oil all over him and then proceeded to pat him all over with white powder. She took him back into the bedroom shoved him into the corner and told him to stand as still as he could, like a statue.
Just in time she turned around to great her husband. He smiled and gave her a big hug. "Hi honey I've missed you while I've been away."
"Yes," she replied " I though you would be back days ago."
Just then the husband noticed Jack. "What is that?"
The woman quickly said "It's a new age statue. The Jones in 3A have one just like it and I thought it would be a good more...

I once knew a boy who was dating his left hand and having an affair with his right.

A married man and his secretary are having an affair.

They decide to leave the office early and go to the secretary`s appartment for an afternoon of. ......, whatever its called.

They fall asleep and don`t wake up till 8 PM later that night.

They quickly get dressed and the man asks the secretary to take his shoes and go and rub them in the grass.

The secretary thinks this is pretty weird, but she does it anyway.

The man finally gets home and his wife meets him at the door.

The wife`s very upset and asks, "Where the hell have you been?"

The husband replies, "I was taught in school that truth is very painful, but it sets you free, so I will not tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair, we left work early today, went to her appartment, made love all afternoon, and then we fell asleep. That`s why I`m late!!"

The wife looks at him, takes notice of his shoes and says, more...

Two Jewish ladies who were neighbors in New York met unexpectedly in Miami one winter.
"Why Shirley" one of them said, "I had no idea you were here"
"So listen Ruthie" said Shirley "now that we met I just must tell you, I am having an affair!"
"How wonderful" said Ruthie, "who is doing the catering?"