Affair Jokes / Recent Jokes
Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that God had had an affair with a former worshiper.The scandal was begun when a 21 year old woman, known only as Mary, claimed that she had given birth to God's "only son" last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem.Sources close to Mary claim that she "had loved God for a long time," that she was constantly talking about her relationship with God, and that she was "thrilled to have had his child."In a press conference this morning, God issued a vehement denial, saying that "No sexual relationship existed" and that "the facts of this story will come out in time, verily."Independent counsel Kenneth Beazulbub immediately filed a brief with the Justice department to expand his investigation to cover questions of whether any commandments may have been broken, and whether God had illegally funneled laundered money to his illegitimate child through three foreign operatives identified more...
Banta, “All of the thrill is gone from my marriage. ”
Santa, “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?"
Banta, “But what if my wife finds out? ”
Santa, “Heck, this is a new age we live in. Go ahead and just tell her about it. ”
Banta goes home to his wife and says, “Preeto, I think an affair will help bring us closer together. ”
Preeto, “Forget it, I’ve already tried that. It didn’t work. ”
An Irishman had no idea his wife was having an affair, so he was mad with grief when coming home early one day he surprised her and her lover in the act.
He grabbed a pistol and pointed it at his head, which made his wife burst out laughing.
"What do you think you're laughing at," he cried, "you're next."
"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Brian told his best friend Mike. "Why not add some intrigue to your life, and have an affair?" his friend suggested. "But what if my wife finds out?" "Heck, we are almost on the begining of the 21st centrury, Brian. Go ahead and tell her about it!" So Brian went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together." "Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that many times - it never worked."
TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR SPOUSE IS HAVING A CYBER AFFAIR...10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked.9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.6. He`s gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand.5. Every day, Bill Gates sends 10 million dollars worth of flowers.4. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear.3. During sex she screams "A COLON BACKSLASH ENTER INSERT!!!!"2. The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy`s ass.1. Lipstick on the mouse.
Just two weeks after announcing his bid for a run for the Presidentcy, Republican Sen. John Ensign of Nevada admits to an extramarital affair last year with a young campaign aide.
Is this what Republicans mean by "Drill Baby Drill"?
Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that God had had an affair with a former worshipper. The scandal was begun when a 21 year old woman, known only as Mary, claimed that she had given birth to God's "only son" last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem.
Sources close to Mary claim that she "had loved God for a long time", that she was constantly talking about her relationship with God, and that she was "thrilled to have had his child." In a press conference this morning, God issued a vehement denial, saying that "No sexual relationship existed", and that "the facts of this story will come out in time, verily".
Independent counsel Kenneth Beelzebub immediately filed a brief with the Justice department to expand his investigation to cover questions of whether any commandments may have been broken, and whether God had illegally funnelled laundered money to his illegitimate child through three more...