Affair Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a
pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom
together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the
woman to the lover, "into the Closet!" and she pushed him in the closet,
stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search
of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.
"Who are you?" he asked him.
"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.
"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.
"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man
replied
"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards... "
I highly doubt this is true, but it's a funny read. This is apparently a true story which occurred very recently in the Telecom Call Centre in Lower Hutt.
The Operator received a call from a somewhat irate and very worried Pacific Islander who it seems needed some urgent marriage guidance. The call went like this:
Telecom: How may we help you?
Customer: I haff a big problem with my phone bill. My wife, she think I haffing an affair!
Telecom: Okay Sir, and how can we help you with this?
Customer: My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman, but I never heard of her before. I need to trace these calls please.
Telecom: Sir, I'm sorry but the bill won't actually tell you the name of the person you're calling, just their number.
Customer: This one does.
Telecom: What phone do you have, Sir?
Customer: A mobile. I tell you more...
Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband, John, was Work jokes. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend, Ralph, and she heard her husband's car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph: "Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump outthe window my husband is home early!" Ralph looked out thewindow and said: "I can't jump out the window! It's raininglike hell out there!" Mary cried: "If my husband catches usin here, he will kill both of us!" So the boyfriend grabbedhis clothes and jumped out the window! When he landed outsidehe found himself in the middle of a marathon race... so hestarted running along side the others -- only he was still inthe nude, carrying his clothes on his arm. One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?" Ralph answered, while gasping for air: "Oh yes, It feels sofree having the air blow over your skin while you are running." The other runner then asked the nude man: "Do you more...
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says:' I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine.'
His second friend says:' I think my wife is having an affair with the plummer the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine.'
Paddy says:' I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.' Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.' No I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.'
Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that God had had an affair with a former worshiper.
The scandal was begun when a 21 year old woman, known only as Mary, claimed that she had given birth to God's "only son" last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem.
Sources close to Mary claim that she "had loved God for a long time," that she was constantly talking about her relationship with God, and that she was "thrilled to have had his child."
In a press conference this morning, God issued a vehement denial, saying that "No sexual relationship existed" and that "the facts of this story will come out in time, verily."
Independent counsel Kenneth Beazulbub immediately filed a brief with the Justice department to expand his investigation to cover questions of whether any commandments may have been broken, and whether God had illegally funneled laundered money to his illegitimate child through three foreign more...