Affair Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sarah and her dentist had been carrying on a passionate affair in his dental clinic for many months. Finally becoming a little nervous about the whole situation, he said to her, "Sarah, sweetheart, I think it's best that we stop seeing each other. Your husband is bound to become suspicious."
"Get serious," she replied. "he's about as dumb as a post. We've been carrying on for months now and he doesn't suspect a thing."
"That may be true, dear," the dentist replied, "but you're down to one tooth."

“The thrill is gone from my marriage, ” Bill told his friend Doug. Doug suggests, “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair? ” “But what if my wife finds out? ” asks Bill. “Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it! ” said Doug. So Bill went home and said, “Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together. ” “Forget it, ” said his wife. “I’ve tried that - it didn’t work. ”

Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."

Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse.
Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant.
Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?"she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses."
Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you". Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack.
Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what more...

A married man and his secretary were having a torrid affair. One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. When they were finished they fell asleep and didn't wake up till 8 o'clock.
They got dressed quickly. Then the man told his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. Bewildered, she does as he asks (thinking him pretty weird).
The man finally gets home and his wife meets him at the door. Upset, she asks where he's been. The man replies "I cannot tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon making love then fell asleep. That's why I'm late."
The wife looks at him, takes notice of his shoes and says, "I see those are grass stains on your shoes. You've been playing golf again, haven't you!?"

Concluding his final lecture before the holidays, the professor of criminal law observed, "Remember, gentlemen, if you have an affair with a girl under age, with or without her consent, it's rape; if you have an affair with a girl of age, without her consent, that's rape; but if you have an affair with a girl of age, with her consent, Merry Christmas!"

A - Bill Clinton
B - Warren G. Harding
C - Andrew Jackson
D - Thomas Jefferson
E - Lyndon B. Johnson
F - John F. Kennedy
G - Franklin D. Roosevelt
H - George Washington


1. Which president smoked marijuana with a nude playgirl while he joked about being too wasted to "push the button" in case of nuclear attack?
2. Which president allegedly had affairs with both a winner AND a finalist in the Miss America pageant?
3. Which president had sex with one of his secretaries stretched out atop a desk in the oval office?
4. Which president allegedly had an affair (as well as children) with a slave who was his wife's half sister?
5. Which president called his mistress "Pookie"?
6. Which president married a woman who hadn't yet divorced her first husband, and was branded an "adulterer" during his re-election campaign?
7. Which future president wrote love letters to his neighbor's wife more...