Aids Jokes / Recent Jokes
Editor's note: This joke involves a rather disturbing situation with the AIDS virus. Don't read it if you think making jokes about AIDS is improper....
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A guy walks into a bar and tells everyone there "Give me all your money, watches, jewelry and anything else of value or I will inject you with the AIDS virus." Then he produces a syringe. One by one everyone hands over all their stuff except one man at the end of the bar.
"I told you to hand over all your stuff or I'll inject you with the AIDS virus."
The man at the bar said "Go ahead, I'm wearing a condom."
There was this little boy who went in the whore house with adead frog on a leash. He went to the counter and asked thepimp for a whore with aids, the man knew he was young but theboy said "please mister, just give me a whore with aids, ihave money thats no problem" the man was like ok "if you havethe money". So the boy went in and fucked the whore and cameout smiling to the man at the counter. The guy didn't understnadwhy he was so happy. "its a long story" the boy said. "tell me, i can wait" hte man said impaciently. "ok" the boy says "i haveaids now right? well--i'll go home and screw the babysitter... she'll get aids, then my dad will come homw and screw her... he'll get aids, my dad will screw my mom... she'll get aids. Then my mom will then screw the milk man..... and he's the son of a bitch that ran over my frog!"sent by Alaine
FROM: Human Resources
TO: All staff
RE: Early retirement:
Due to the current financial situation and probable merger, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put all workers over 35 on early retirement. This scheme will be known as Retiring Active Personnel Early (RAPE).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). The situation of persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Subsistance Conditions for Retired Early Workers). A person may only be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice but SCREWED as many times as management deems appropriate.
Should an employee be refused a SCREW, he can apply to get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents or Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earning for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by management.
Persons staying on will receive more...
There's these three guys, best friends since childhood. One of them is dating an absolutely stunning babe, and is always bragging to his buddies about the sex they have. Then one day, for who knows what reason, the guy decides that he's getting tired of the lovely lady, he needs some new thrills in his life, and pulls a complete 180, declaring he's gay.
"Damn," his friends say, "you know that you're probably going to get AIDS and die!"
Hey, I'll take my chances," he says. "I just needed some kind of change, and wow, did I find it!"
Well, to make a long story short, in a couple years he indeed contracts AIDS, and is told he only has a few months left. As he's lying on his death-bed, he calls his old friends together one last time.
"Guys," he gasps, "you've got to promise me one last thing."
"Sure," say his mates. "What can we do for you?"
"When I'm dead and buried, will you make sure more...
Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.