Al Gore Jokes / Recent Jokes

Gore: My God, it was terrible!
Aide: What? Gore: This nightmare I had--I dreamed I was running against Dan Quayle. Aide: What's so terrible about that? Seems to me it'd be a slam dunk for you. Gore: You don't understand. I was in this debate--and the first thing they ask ed was, "Which of you is Al and which of you is Dan?"

When he dislocated his right shoulder to pat himself on the back.

Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

Supreme Court, In Controversial Decision, To Give Al Gore's Oscar to G.W. Bush

Bill, Al, and Hillary all die in a plane crash. Upon reaching Heaven, they are escorted as important personages directly to see God. God looks at Bill and asks, "Bill, you've sinned a great deal. Why should I allow you to enter into Heaven?"
"Well, gee, God," replies Bill, "I'm the Pres-ee-dent of the United States. I've been trying to help people - you know give them universal health care and protect them from those mean-spirited Republicans who want to starve their children and throw sick old people out into the street." God considers this a moment and says, "Oh, okay. Sit over here on my left." He turns to Al. "Al, why should I let you into Heaven?" "Well, Lord, I'm the Vice President of the United States. I've tried to protect the environment from abuse by those mean-spirited Republicans and even wrote a very important book about it." God thinks a moment and says, "All right. Sit over here on my right. Now, more...

Al Gore has warned that cigarette smoking is a, "significant contributor to global warming."
Making even more of an impact was the hot-air released by this comment.

Very InterestingDraw your own conclusions..Counties won by Gore: 677
Counties won by Bush: 2,434
Population of counties won by Gore: 127 million
Population of counties won by Bush: 143 million
Square miles of country won by Gore: 580,000
Square miles of country won by Bush: 2,427,000States won by Gore: 19
States won by Bush: 29Professor Joseph Olson of the Hamline University School of Law in St.Paul Minnesota has produced another interesting new statistic. Professor
Olson looked up the crime statistics for all of these counties and came up
with this:
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Gore: 13.2
Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Bush: 2.1The logical conclusion-------killers voted for Gore.