Alaskan Jokes / Recent Jokes
An Alaskan woman having car trouble pulls her Station Wagon into the local Exxon service station and has it looked over. The Chillyland mechanic from under the hood says: "Ma'am it looks like you blew a seal." The Alaskan woman replies wiping her face: "No, it's just Mayonaise."
A Texas Oil Tycoon and an Alaskan Oil Tycoon were debating on which state had the most oil. The Alaskan Oil Tycoon said, "Listen, there is so much oil in Alaska that I could buy enough gold to build a wall of solid gold 100 feet tall and 100 feet wide all the way around the state of Texas". The Texas Oil Tycoon scratched his chin and adjusted his cowboy hat and said, "Well boy, I'll tell ya what....you just go ahead and build that wall, and if I like it.......I'll buy it".
There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska.
So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan.
The barnabs say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her."
The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it.
He comes back a week later beaten to shit.
"What happened to you?" said the barman.
"I'm nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!
There's this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want's to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska.So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan.The barnabs say's "First you drink this liter of whisky, then you've got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her."The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it.He comes back a week later beaten to shit."What happened to you?" said the barman."I'm nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman"!
Q: How many Alaskan women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Hey Bob, this is Carol. .. I think I have a lightbulb out over here."
Q: How many Alaskan men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Oh, none. .. they just have one of their girlfriends do it. [bitter laugh]
Q: How many Beverly Hills residents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they have a service come in and do that.
Q: How many Austinites/Berkeleyites/Boulderites does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb and four to talk about how much better it was in the Sixties.
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three - one to change the light bulb and two to say "Oh Wow!"
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five - one to screw it in and four to sit in the hot tub and discuss the environmental impact.
Q: How many more...
There’s this guy and he lives in the second largest state in America, which is California, and he want’s to live in the largest state of America which is Alaska.
So he goes there for a few weeks and decides he wants to become a fully-fledged Alskan, so he goes in this pub to ask a bar man what he has to do to become a fully fledged Alaskan.
The barnabs say’s “First you drink this liter of whisky, then you’ve got to kill a bear, and find a woman and rape her. ”The guy gets confused, so he asked the barman to repeat it.
He comes back a week later beaten to shit.
“What happened to you? ” said the barman.
“I’m nearly a fully fledged alaskan, all I gotta do now is kill a woman”!
What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide itscircumference by its diameter? Eskimo pi.