Angeles Jokes / Recent Jokes
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us -Holland Sentinal, date unknown.Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -The New York Times, November 22Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -The Los Angeles Times, November 2"Light" meals are lower in fat, calories -Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30Alcohol ads promote drinking -The Hartford Courant, November 18Malls try to attract shoppers -The Baltimore Sun, October 22Official: Only rain will cure drought -The Herald-News, Westpost, MassachusettsTeen-age girls often have babies fathered by men -The Sunday Oregonian, September 24Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -Newsday, July 11Man shoots neighbor with machete -The Miami Herald, July 3Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes -The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -The New York Times, March more...
NFL Team Lame Names When a football team is having trouble getting into the win column, fans usually assign a more appropriate name to describe that team's performance. Here is a collection of some of these lame names for the NFL. AFC West:Denver Broncos - Denver Donkeys Kansas City Chiefs - Kansas City Griefs Los Angeles Raiders - Los Angeles Faders San Diego Chargers - San Diego Rechargers Seattle Seahawks - Seattle Weehawks AFC Central: Cincinnati Bengals - Cincinnati Plaingels Cleveland Browns - Cleveland Clowns Houston Oilers - Houston Spoilers Pittsburgh Steelers - Pittsburgh Reelers AFC East: Buffalo Bills - Buffalo NilsBuffalo Spills Indianapolis Colts - Indianapolis Dolts Miami Dolphins - Miami StallfinsMiami Soft Ones New England Patriots - New England Patsys New York Jets - New York PetsNew York Not Yets NFC West:Atlanta Falcons - Atlanta Fellcons New Orleans Saints - New Orleans Aint's Los Angeles Rams - Los Angeles Lambs San Francisco 49ers - San Francisco Whiners NFC more...
City of Los Angeles High Scoohl Math Profiency final Exam
Name:______________________________
Alias:_______________________________
Gang:______________________________
1. Johnny has an AK-47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of ten shots and shoots 13 rounds at every drive by shooting, how many drive by shootings can he attend before he has to reload? What is the Maximum number of people he can hit?
2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. He sells an 8-ball to Ricky for $320, and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram. How many ounces does he have left? What is the street value of the remaining coke?
3. Rufus is pimping 3 girls. If his cut is $65 a trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can support his $800 a day crack habit.
4.Jerome wants to cut his half pound of Heroin to make 20 percent more profit. How many ounces will he need.?
5. Willie gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4x4. If he has stolen 2 BMW's and more...
The "pound" key on your keyboard (#) is called an octotroph.
The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. The "dot" over the letter "i" is called a tittle. Table tennis balls have been known to travel off the paddle at speeds up to 160 km/hr. Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name. The original story from "Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights" begins, "Aladdin was a little Chinese boy." Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. Honey is the only natural food that is made without destroying any kind of life. What about milk you say? A cow has to eat grass to produce milk and grass is living. The most common name in the world is Mohammed. Michael Jordan makes more money from NIKE annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. The volume of the earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean. Cephalacaudal recapitulation is the reason our extremities develop faster more...
NFL Team Lame Names When a football team is having trouble getting into the win column, fans usually assign a more appropriate name to describe that team's performance. Here is a collection of some of these lame names for the NFL. AFC West: Denver Broncos - Denver Donkeys Kansas City Chiefs - Kansas City Griefs Los Angeles Raiders - Los Angeles Faders San Diego Chargers - San Diego Rechargers Seattle Seahawks - Seattle Weehawks AFC Central: Cincinnati Bengals - Cincinnati Plaingels Cleveland Browns - Cleveland Clowns Houston Oilers - Houston Spoilers Pittsburgh Steelers - Pittsburgh Reelers AFC East: Buffalo Bills - Buffalo NilsBuffalo Spills Indianapolis Colts - Indianapolis Dolts Miami Dolphins - Miami StallfinsMiami Soft Ones New England Patriots - New England Patsys New York Jets - New York PetsNew York Not Yets NFC West: Atlanta Falcons - Atlanta Fellcons New Orleans Saints - New Orleans Aint's Los Angeles Rams - Los Angeles Lambs San Francisco 49ers - San Francisco Whiners NFC more...
For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to
live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and
culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have
realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:Name:___________________ Stage name:________________Agent:___________________
Attorney:_______________________Therapist's name:_________________Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ____both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___Please list brand of cell phone:________________
*If you don't own a cell phone, please more...
Bay Area Native Quiz
Want to know if someone is a native of the San Francisco
Bay Area? Want to find out if you qualify yourself? Take
the following quiz and find out!
1) Complete the following phrase:
Dublin, Berkeley, San Lorenzo, Cupertino, __________
2) Name the five bridges that cross San Francisco Bay.
Extra credit: put them in order from north to south.
Extra extra credit: explain how to get across the
Golden Gate Bridge during rush
hour in less than an hour.
3) Complete the following phrase:
2400 Mission, top of the hill, __________
4) You're at a San Francisco Spiders hockey game at the Cow
Palace. (True: a team called' the Spiders' play at a
place called' the Cow Palace.' Go figure.) A woman comes
out to sing the Star Spangled Banner wearing a huge hat
with a model of the entire financial district, including
the TransAmerica building, on top of it. more...