Annoying Jokes / Recent Jokes
I watched a man rush onto our plane at the last minute before takeoff. He spotted one of the few empty seats on board and silently sat down.
Later that night, though, he seemed bothered as the woman next to him fidgeted and got up frequently to use the bathroom.
Still, the man never uttered a word. Feeling sorry for him, I quietly asked if he would like to move to another seat.
"My wife's been annoying me for 20 years," he said with a chortle. "There's no sense in separating us now."
Are the google ads annoying you?
If they are, here's a way to remove them:
1. Open "my computer", locate the windows directory (for example, C:windows).
2. Enter its subdirectory system32driversetc (the full path might be C:windowssystem32driversetc). You can find a file named "host".
3. Use the notepad to open this file, and add this line:
127.0.0.1 pagead2.googlesyndication.com
4. Save it, and shut down all your existing IE windows.
5. Open your IE again, and enter Wocka. You won't see the google ads anymore(although the google search will be still there.)
6. Enjoy it!
If ever you want to annoy someone who annoys you, just say this punchline to a friend as you’re walking by the annoying someone.
Repeat this ritual (making sure the annoyance can hear you) constantly, but never tell the annoying someone the rest of the joke.
It will eventually drive them slightly insane!
The punchline is: “And then the president said, “But that’s not *my* duck! ”
What really is the rest of the joke? In your dreams, baby!
I wanna be a Billionaire so I can pay to never hear the song "I wanna be a Billionaire" ever again!
If ever you want to annoy someone who annoys you, just say this punchline to a friend as you're walking by the annoying someone. Repeat this ritual (making sure the annoyance can hear you) constantly, but never tell the annoying someone the rest of the joke. It will eventually drive them slightly insane! The punchline is: "And then the president said, "But that's not *my* duck!"What really is the rest of the joke? In your dreams, baby!
Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify personality on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.The results:IF WOMEN DRINK:Drink: Beer. Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth. Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella. Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass. Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue. Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.Drink: Baileys. Personality: Annoying more...
Top Ten Ways To Be An Annoying Usher...
10. Show up drunk. I mean REALLY drunk.
9. SQUEEZE as many people as you can in each row before opening up the next one. We're going for efficiency here.
8. Two words: "Bathroom Key"
7. Insist on frisking all female guests. Body cavity searches are optional.
6. "March" down the aisle and speak with a German accent as you show people to their seats.
5. Urinate in front of each row you are about to open up. Make comments about marking your territory.
4. Pretend you are the Phantom of the Opera. Lurk in the shadows when time permits.
3. Offer your "services" to all guests.
2. Offer guests the opportunity to be included in your plans for world domination.
1. Insist on a pants-free environment.