April Jokes / Recent Jokes
Prosecution paints O. J. as a wife-killer: Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25
Economist uses theory to explain economy: Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8
Bible church's focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20
Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me April, who created the universe?" When April didn`t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour." But, April didn`t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good," and April fell back asleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I`LL BREAK IT IN more...
Knock Knock Who's there! April! April who? April might make you feel better!
One radio station prank took place on April Fool's Day. They announced that the phone company would be cleaning the dirt out of the phone lines that afternoon. They do this, it seems, by blowing air into the wires in the switching station. The problem is that the dirt comes out of the earpiece and mouthpiece of the telephone and could dirty the rugs or furniture in your house.
Consequently, the phone company asks that the good citizens please get plastic bags and put them over the handsets of the telephones to protect their belongings.
Stores reported a run on plastic bags, and the phone company made the radio station retract the original claim.
Three men were engineers checking a bridge when out of nowhere this masked man pointed a gun at them and said, "If you want to live, you'll jump off the bridge and you'll survive."Well, the gunman turned around to take his mask off and when he turned around the engineers saw it was a construction worker."April Fools!"he yelled out as water shot out from the"gun".The first engineer looked at him and said,"Tell that to the man who jumped when you had turned around."