June Jokes

June 18 - June 24

"I didn't have time to giftwrap it. It just came out of the dog's ass."

- Alec Baldwin's daughter Ireland, giving him his Father's Day present.

A lady walked into a bar and there were no seats available, except for one at a table that was occupied by a man, and she decides to take it. He said, "Hello, my name is Jim Snow, what's yours?"
The women replied, "June."
She went to get a drink and Jim Snow sat there smiling at her. When she came back he still sat there smiling.
June was a little embarrassed, so she bashfully said, "Why are you smiling at me like that?"
Jim answered, "Well, just imagine having 6 inches of Snow in June!"

Auburn Police
23400 block, 102nd Place Southeast - A woman reported that someone stole mail from her condo and, when she was gone, entered the place to tie her shoelaces together, tilt pictures on the walls and take snaps from her clothing. There had been no forced entries. No arrests were made. (May 30)
Renton Police
3000 block, Southeast Royal Hills Drive - A 5-year-old boy threatened a 6-year-old boy with a steak knife, saying he would kill the other boy unless he agreed to come out and play. Officers arrived and took the knife, and no charges were filed due to the ages of the boys. (May 26)
Maple Valley Precinct
67200 Maple Valley-Black Diamond Highway - A Maple Valley man told police somebody broke into his house, carried a few items outside onto the lawn and set them on fire. (June 1)
Green River Community College - Campus security detained two young men prowling cars in the parking lot. One youth, estimated to be about 16, fled, but an 18-year-old was more...

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together.

But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June."

"Yes, this is June."

"Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will! Who`s this?"

A chap called Snow marries a girl called June, and on their wedding night he says to her,"Well honey, what did you think of the snow in June then?".
"Not bad at all"she replied,"But i would have preffered it six inches deeper".