April Jokes / Recent Jokes
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us -Holland Sentinal, date unknown. Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -The New York Times, November 22Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -The Los Angeles Times, November 2"Light" meals are lower in fat, calories -Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30Alcohol ads promote drinking -The Hartford Courant, November 18Malls try to attract shoppers -The Baltimore Sun, October 22Official: Only rain will cure drought -The Herald-News, Westpost, MassachusettsTeen-age girls often have babies fathered by men -The Sunday Oregonian, September 24Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -Newsday, July 11Man shoots neighbor with machete -The Miami Herald, July 3Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes -The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -The New York Times, March more...
"Do you have blacks, too?" -George W. Bush, to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Nov. 8, 2001, as reported in an April 28, 2002, Estado Sao Pauloan column by Fernando Pedreira, a close friend of President Cardoso "I`d rather have them sacrificing on behalf of our nation than, you know, endless hours of testimony on congressional hill." -George W. Bush, Fort Meade, Maryland, June 4, 2002 "We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator." -George W. Bush, to community and religious leaders in Moscow, May 24, 2002 "We`re working with Chancellor Schröder on what`s called 10-plus-10-over-10: $10 billion from the U. S.,$10 billion from other members of the G7 over a 10-year period, to help Russia securitize the dismantling - the dismantled nuclear warheads." -George W. Bush, Berlin, Germany, May 23, 2002 "After all, a week ago, there were - Yasser Arafat was boarded up in more...
Why were the Scouts so tired on April 1?
Because they had just finished a 31 day March!
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Bible church's focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20
Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart: Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
Fish lurk in streams: Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Bible church's focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994 Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6 Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5 Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20 Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2 Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16 How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart: Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5 Fish lurk in streams: Rochester, New York, Democrat + Chronicle, January 29
Am Going To U. S. A.. . . Dont Worry The Flight Is After 81 Days. . . Surprised?? ? ?
After 80 Days it’s 1st April, U r 1st Fool Of 2009.
April 2 - April 8
"Screech never had a problem with it".
- Serial stalker Emily Diane Leatherman, arrested after showing up at Tom Cruise's house uninvited.