Backwards Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line!
August, 1998, Montevideo, UruguayPaolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Simphonica Mayor de Uruguay, in a misplaced moment of inspiration decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired as part of the orchestra's performance of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture at an outdoor children's concert. In complete seriousness he placed a large, ignited firecracker, which was equivalent in strength to a quarter stick of dynamite, into his aluminum straight mute and then stuck the mute into the bell of his quite new Yamaha in-line double-valve bass trombone. Later, from his hospital bed he explained to a reporter through bandages on his mouth, "I thought that the bell of my trombone would shield me from the explosion and, instead, would focus the energy of the blast outward and away from me, propelling the mute high above the orchestra, like a rocket." However, Paolo was not up on his propulsion physics nor qualified to use high-powered artillery and in his haste to get more...
When I walk backwards, it feels like I'm helping everyone else move forward faster.
While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers.
Enclosed with this memo is a "Y2K Backup System" device designed to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay. This device is the company's Primary Emergency Network Computer Interface Liaison device (P. E. N. C. I. L.).
This device has been field tested extensively, including certification testing, as well as volume and stress testing. Properly maintained, the device meets all the requirements for coding and data input. Prior to use, the (P. E. N. C. I. L.) will require preparation and testing. Tools and supplies required will be: A sharpened knife or grinding device; and a supply of computer paper (with or without more...
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest
to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognisable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate. When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "
Ah, yes, that's Beethovens Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "
There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening, "
There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate. He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, more...
A fan of Beethoven went to visit Beethoven's grave and when she got there, she heard the ninth symphony being played...it was however played backwards... she did not understand that but came back the next day and brought her friend to listen to the music under the grave... when she got there, she heard the tenth symphony being played..this time again..it was played backward..
they both did not understand this weird undertaking... as they were about to leave a caretaker came along the way, both girls asked the caretaker if he knew why Beethoven's music was being played backwards...
The caretaker replied "Don't you get it... Beethoven is DECOMPOSING!!!"
What is a country song played backwards?
Your wife gets back with you, your dog comes back to life, your car
starts, you get your job back and life is great.