Ball Jokes / Recent Jokes

Maurice and Sadie invited Nigel, their gentile neighbour for a Passover dinner. The first course was served and Sadie said to Nigel, “This is matzoh ball soup.”
When Nigel saw the two large matzoh balls in the soup, he was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. But Maurice gently persuaded him to try it.
“Just have a taste. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to finish it, honestly.”
So Nigel has a taste. He digs his spoon in and picks up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup. He tastes it gingerly and finds he likes it very much. Quickly he finishes his plate.
“That was delicious”, says Nigel. “Can you eat any other part of the matzoh?”

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the two some teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said, "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow."
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be all right...I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him, "How does that more...

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he
not only gave his famous "One small step for man, one giant leap for man
kind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic
between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he
reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck Mr.
Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival
Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either
the Russian or American Space Programs. Over the years many people
questioned Mr. Armstrong as to what the "Good Luck Mr. Gorsky" statement
meant, but Mr. Armstrong always just smiled and would not answer.
Just last year, (On July 5, 1996) in Tampa, Florida while answering
questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 29 year old
question to Mr. Armstrong again. This time he finally more...

A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
"What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest.
"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?" "No, Father," says the man.
"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man.
"You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and more...

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change.A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts."What's that ?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust."Tennis ball," came the breathless reply."Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful... I had tennis elbow once."

Once There Was A Match Between India And England. The Umpire Of The Match Was From England And So Was An English. During The
Match Sachin Hit A Six In The Crowd. Bal Thakre Caught The Ball In The Crowd. He Refused To Return The Ball. But Agreed To
Return It Only If The English Umpire Said A Word In Hindi Or Marathi. As He Did Not Know Any Word. He Said" Bal Thakre."He
Returned The Ball As He Thought He Said Ball Takre Which Means Throw The Ball In Marathi.

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word."
The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven."
The guy however was quite eager to explain to the priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to listen to his explanation.
"Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy.
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied. "I was on the first tee and I duck hooked my drive into this terrible rough."
"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked.
"No," the guy replied getting quite annoyed with the constant interruptions to his story. "My ball took a lucky kick out of the rough and I was left with a perfect shot to the more...