Bamboo Jokes / Recent Jokes

These three guys - an American, Chinese, and German - were
shipwrecked on a desert island. The German found this smokey bottle.
So he brought it back to the other two and they all opened it togther
(the German was a really nice guy). Well, low and behold, a GENIE
POPPED OUT! The genie granted them each one wish, and of course all
three wanted to be back home. So the genie said he would grant them
their wishes.
"But first, you must all do me a favor. Mr. American - I want you
to built me a restaurant here. Mr. German - you will make the kitchen
for this restaurant. Mr. Chinaman - you will get the supplies for the
restaurant. I have a hot date waiting for me in Bagdad, so I have to
go. But I will return in ONE MONTH. At that time, if you satisfied my
requirements, I will grant your wishes."
So for one month, the three men American and German toiled while
the Oriental kinda lazed around and gave a helping hand to the more...

One day I decided to quit.... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality.. ..
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me...
"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.
"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo".

He said. "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not more...

Why do teachers use a bamboo cane? Because when the cane goes bam the child goes boo!

* The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single oy.
* If you wish to know The Way, don't ask for directions. Argue. Take only what is given. Own nothing but your robes and an alms bowl. Unless, of course, you have the closet space.
* Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with posture like that.
* There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
* Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
* To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?
* Learn of the pine from the pine. Learn of the bamboo from the bamboo. Learn of the kugel from the kugel.
* Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal more...

Three chaps - an American, a Chinese, and a German - were shipwrecked on a deserted island. The German found a smoky bottle, so he brought it back to the other two, and they all opened it together. Well, out popped a Genie! The Genie granted them each one wish under a condition he wanted to tell them later. Of course, all three wanted to be back home.
The Genie said he would grant them their wishes. "But first, you must all do me a favor. Mr. American, I want you to build me a restaurant here. Mr. German, you will make the kitchen for this restaurant. Mr. Chinaman, you will get the supplies for the restaurant. I will return in one month. At that time, if you have satisfied my requirements, I will grant your wishes."
The German and the American started their work immediately. But the Oriental just sat relaxed and enjoyed life. The others warned him to start his work, but he replied, "I will do my wolk. Do not wolly."
Then, about four days before the more...