Banda Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mr Silva and Mr. Perera are very good friends. One Sunday evening they are having a
beer at Silva's place.
These gentlemen, being bachelors still, kept servants to maintain the house and also to
run errands for them.
After few rounds of drinks, their topic of discussion turned to servants. Mr. Perera says
to Mr. Silva,
"I say Mr. Silva, I think my servant Banda should be the most foolish servant in the world."
"Come on Mr. Perera, I will eat my head if you can prove that Banda is more foolish than
my servant Junda."
"Okay, okay we'll see". And Mr. Silva calls Banda and handed him 10 Rupees and tells,
"Banda, you go to the Toyota dealer at the corner of the street and buy me a new Camry
with that."
"Certainly, Sir" and off goes Banda.
"You see Mr. Perera, how foolish is my servant"
"Huh!, you say that is foolish, wait till you see my servant" and more...

Our famous Udurawana was attending a conference in London. He was flying for the first time. Here are some incidents which took place during that trip.
GETTING ON
At Katunayake airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to board the plane. A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted "Oh, I lost my balance!" and the moving got slowed down a bit. Udurawana was at the bottom of the steps anxiously waiting to get in to the plane for the first time and he shouted, "Doesn't matter you fool, I have enough coins in my pocket. I'll give you some later! "
EMBARKATION CARD
When it was closer to London, Passengers were given the embarkation card to fill. Udurawana started filling.
Full Name: Heen Banda Udurawana
Sex: Ticked the Female Box and wrote below: unlike these foreigners, we always have sex with females!
GETTING OFF
Getting off Finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow. Udurawana was excited and anxious to get off. So he more...

Ek baar ik banda gwandia de ghar manja lain gaya, gwandi kehnda yaar sade ghar 2 hi manje ne 1 te main te mera bappu 2je te meri gharwali te meri maa sonde ne,
oh banda kehnda tussi vi hadd kar di......., manja nahi dena na deo par soya ta tareeke nal karo...

There is a sinhala letter' gna' as pronounce in' Kompagna Veediya'. No match in English and try to pronounce' gna' as you pronounce the sinhalese letter in the eary school days.
Banada was a very innocent policeman and because of his character he was always assigned to do the road patrol duties in the night shift arround the Pettah vegetable market. He always feel sleepy as there is no activity in the market in his duty hours.
One day early morning he saw a bicycle approching him with few boxes in the back and he thought of stopping this man at least to keep his mood.
Navathapan. Umba koheda yanne me ude pandara?
Sir. Mama elovolu tikak geniyanava.
Boru kiyanna epa Banda ralahamita. Mata umba visvasa neha.
Kiyapan umbe nama.
Mage nama' Pagnasena'
Banda took his patrol duty book and trying to write the name. Tried many times but not that easy for him.
Umbata vena namak nedda.
Ne ralahami.
Hari Adata palayan. heta ehema enna more...

An Englishman, an American and a Sinhala man are called
upon to test a lie detector. The Englishman says. "I think I can
empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ goes the lie detector. "Ok, 10
bottles". And themachine is silent. The American says. "I think
I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ goes the lie detector.
"all right, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent.
The Sinhala man says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the
machine.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Having lost his donkey a Banda, got down to his
knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked,"Your
donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?
The Banda replied "I am thanking Him for seeing
to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I
would have been missing more...