Battery Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sardar At The Garage,

Sardaji: Areyoji, Gaadi Bandh Ho Jati Hein, Battery Change Karvani Haein

Mechanic: Battery Charge Karvane Se Faidha Nahi, Ye Garab Ho Ga Ya Hein, Naya Lagana Padtha Hein

Sardarji: Tho Lagaa Do

Mechanic: Exide Lagaa Du?

Sardaji: Kyon, Doosraa Side Tera Baap Lagaayegaa?

General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy/use cars like they buy/use computers -- but imagine if they did. . .
HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"
HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"
-----------------------------------------
HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
CUSTOMER: "Huh? more...

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it." "Oh yes dear, what happened? " "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks." "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them? " "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."

Why did God invent lesbians?
So feminists wouldn't breed.
Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point, what's she doing out of the kitchen?
What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her in the butt
How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Non stick Cellotape Solar Powered Flash Light A black highlighter pen Glow in the dark sunglasses Inflatable Anchor Smooth Sandpaper Waterproof sponge Waterproof Teabags AC adapter for Solar powered calculators Fireproof Matches Fireproof Cigarettes Battery powered Battery Charger Seatbelts for Motorbikes Hand powered Chainsaw Inflatable Dartboard Silent Alarm Clock A Pedal powered wheelchair Braille Drivers Manual Double sided playing cards Ejector seats for Helicopters

A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. You just wont believe what happened this evening, in all my years on the force Ive never seen anything like it. Oh yes dear, what happened? I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them? Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off.