Bears Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog.
They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that they could have 3 wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish.
Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine. Mr. Bear could not believe it and Complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had more...
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.
They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.
After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."
A bear was chasing this bunny around a forest. They ran into a clearing and were running around a certain huge redwood where a genie lived. The genie got so tired of the racket that he finally came out and told the pair that he would grant them 3 wishes a piece if they would just leave him alone. The pair agreed. The bear said he would go first. "I wish... that all the bears in this forest were female." The genie granted the wish. The bunny just grinned and asked for a helmet. The bear thought that strange but continued. "I wish... that all the bears in this country to be female!" The genie granted the wish. The bunny just grinned again and wished for a motorcycle. He jumped on the bike, put on his helmet and started gunning it. The bear looked at the bunny and said, "You must be the stupidest bunny I ever met!" Then he asked for his last wish. "I wish... that all the bears in this world to be female!" The genie granted the wish. The bunny just more...
Which vampire ate the three bears' porridge? Ghouldilocks.
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears on the top shelf.
The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. He turns to her... they kiss... and then they rip each others clothes off and make love.
After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the bottom shelf."
Q: What kind of money to polo bears use?
A: Ice lolly!
Q: Have you ever hunted bear?
A: No, but I`ve been shooting in my shorts!
Q: How do you start a teddy bear race?
A: Ready, teddy, go!
Q: What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A: A bear faced lyre!
Q: Why do bears have fur coats?
A: Because they`d look stupid in anoraks!
Q: What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A: A teddy boar!
Q: What should you call a bald teddy?
A: Fred bear!
Q: What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A: A little bear!
Q: What`s yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown?
A: Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear`s forgotten cousin!
Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
A: Winnie the Pooh! Q: How do you hire a teddy bear?
A: Put him on stilts!
Q: What do you call a big white bear with more...
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. LOS ANGELES TIMES, October 8: People of northwestern Montana have been advised to be on the lookout for drunken bears. Black bears and grizzlies have been congregating along the tracks of the Burlington Northern railroad tracks, where a train carrying hundreds of tons of corn derailed some time ago. The corn has fermented, and the aroma is attracting the bears. "The bears are actually intoxicated up there," said wildlife biologist Loren Hicks. And a grizzly with a hangover can be cross as a bear.