Belt Jokes / Recent Jokes
Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.
Ok, I know that you can really buy a detachable vagina from an adult store, but here is the problem and my story.
First of all, its very strange to go into a store and ask somebody behind the counter, "Excuse me, where do you keep the vaginas?" Only to have them respond, "Isle 12," like it's nothing, like they do this all the time. Ooops, they do.
Anyway, I am on isle 12 and there are tons of vaginas, just like they said. There are vaginas that vibrate, and I am thinking to myself, "A vibrating vagina? That could be interesting." They even have vaginas with pubic hair. Pubic hair? I'm not gonna be looking at it for its anatomical correctness. And wait, there was even a clitoris! Who is that for? I mean I don't ever remember telling a woman, "Ohhh baby, I want you to rub your clitoris all over my body." I mean, isn't that for the woman? I don't think I am going to try to go down on my detachable vagina, that would be more...
Dear Jokers who provide Yo mama jokes,
Please do not post yo mama jokes previously posted in this Joke Page.
It's a waste of your time, our time and bandwith.
Please read the following collection of YO MAMA SO FAT' jokes. Future
jokers, read this and if you can find something new about the fat mama
then submit your joke. (OLD MAMA, TALL MAMA, POOR MAMA etc.
will follow)
YO MAMA IS SO FAT
Yo mama so fat. . . she's fat!
Yo mama so fat God can't lift her spirits!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo mama so fat God said "Let there be Light", and moved her fat ass.
Yo mama so fat I got rich by making her sit on coal.
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!
Yo mama so fat I have to roll her over twice to get her on her back.
Yo mama so fat I saw her on top of the Empire State building snatching at airplanes.
Yo mama so fat I'm more...
A guy is speeding down a highway and he gets pulled over. The cop says, "You were speeding."
The guy says, "No I wasn't, I was just going slow."
The guy's wife in the Passenger seat says, "No officer, He was speeding the whole time."
The guy glares at his wife and says, "Shut up!"
The cop says, "I see your seat belt is off. May I ask why?"
The guy says, "Well I saw you were gonna pull me over and you were gonna ask for my license, so I took it off and got it out."
The guy's wife says, "No officer. He has had the seat belt off the whole time."
The guy says to his wife, "What is wrong with you?"
The cop leans over to the wife and asks, "Is he always this mean to you?"
The wife says, "Only when he's drunk."
In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."
In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets. Kibo.
In Carmel, N. Y., a man can`t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match. nj.
Attention Gooley: In Clawson, Mich., there is a law that makes it LEGAL for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.
In Miami, it`s illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. Blair!
In St. Louis, it`s illegal to sit on the curb of any city more...
Requirements for 11th Degree Black Belt Master of Judo Well before testing for this rank any experienced Judo teacher should have already learned these basic techniques: Escape from DojoThe quick exit to avoid clean up and helping with the mats. Sleeper StanceStanding at the corner of the dojo pretending to be observing the students as they sweat with exhaustion. Sigh of WisdomSudden, forceful exhalation when a beginning student unexpectedly survives a dangerous body slam without injury. Crossing FingersA hopeful posture used when uke has been choked unconscious. Gift of InstructionThe act of taking credit whenever a student wins a tournament or performs a technique correctly. Seeing Without SeeingThe dazed look of amazement given to the student who asks a stupid question. Kuchi Waza (mouth technique)Using an hour of class time to answer the stupid question while students sit on their knees in seiza. Mugger's DefenseOffering to lighten the student's wallet to reduce the risk of more...