Bernie Jokes / Recent Jokes
...Bernie Madoff is writing his autobiography, a tell-all book about his life in the financial world....Book's title: "Bernie Madoff...American I-Con."
Three men are sitting on the beach in Miami.
Moishe says; "So, I had a lumber business.
Huge inventory. Then one night a tragic fire swept through my yard, leaving me nothing to sell but ashes. I collected the insurance, and here I am."
Bernie replies; "Really? Similar story for me.
I had a paper supply house. One night
the sprinkler system accidently goes off, soaks all my inventory, and BANG!, here I am in Florida with my settlement!"
They both look over at the younger man.
"So... why are you here?", they ask.
"My name is Joel and I was a tailor making nice shirts in Hawaii. Without much warning a hurricane hit and blew all my inventory out to sea. Like you, I collected my insurance and here I sit."
The older two men look at each other and nod silently.
Then Bernie says;
"How do you make a hurricane?"
The designer
Bernie decided he wanted to be an aeronautical engineer and build airplanes. He studied hard, went to the best schools, and finally got his degree. It didn`t take long before he gained a reputation as the finest aeronautical engineer in all the land, so he decided to start his own company to build jets.
His company was such a hit that the President of Israel called Bernie into his office. "I want to commission your company to build an advanced Israeli jet fighter.
Needless to say, Bernie was tremendously excited at this prospect. The entire resources of his company went into building the most advanced jet fighter in history. Everything looked terrific on paper, but when they held the first test flight of the new jet, disaster struck. The wings couldn`t take the strain--they broke clean off of the fuselage! (The test pilot parachuted to safety, thank God.)
Bernie was devastated; his company redesigned the jet fighter, but the same thing happened at more...