Bond Jokes / Recent Jokes
President Bush said clients shouldn't be concerned by
all these bank closings. If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said.
George Bush said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman brothers. His thoughts at this time go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is a tragedy.
The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.
There are 30 billion prime numbers below 700 billion. The rest are all subprime.
How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday.
What do you call 12 investment bankers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
Why are all MBAs going back to school? To ask for their money back.
For Geography students: What's the capital of Iceland?
Answer: About Three Pounds Fifty...
If you want to gamble, go to Las Vegas. If you want to trade in more...
Now that there are now three new bonds available:
Monica Lewinski Bond -- Has No Maturity
Hillary Clinton Bond -- Has No Interest
Bill Clinton Bond -- Has No Principal
These should be hot sellers to all Republicans.
James Bond comes out of British Airways at Chennai, goes to his waiting driver and says' I'm Bond, James Bond. James to you'.
For which the driver replies' I'm Subramaniam, Bala Subramaniam. Balls to you...'
One Side of a Phone Call between James Bond and a Former Sexual Partner
Hallo? Is this Giganta? Giganta Loins?
Oh, grand! It''s Bond.
James Bond? O07?
Shaken not stirred? Tuxedo? The trunk-sized jet pack? We had a run in with an Austrian terrorist with the overdeveloped reptilian brain and a predilection for man-eating octopi launching bazookas?
Well, contacting you took quite a bit of doing actually. You see, first I tried Giganta Loins. I must have looked in every phone directory that MI-6 could hack into. Then I figured out that Giganta might be a code name. I mean, who has the name Giganta Loins? Rather silly, when you think about it.
Yes, yes I suppose you do like it. Anyway, I recalled that I kept one of your garments – your knickers actually. And there it was. Honey Rider is a much prettier and commonplace name. You should use that.
Ah, yes. The, uh... point. Well, it seems that... well, there''s no delicate way to put this. I have a rather nasty more...
a man goes in to a bar one night and spots a blond at the bar.
he goes up and says "hi the names bond"
the blond replies"ohhh dont tell me james bond"
the man says"no unibond i am here to fill your crack"...