Bond Jokes / Recent Jokes
The US Treasury has just announced that it will sell three new types of government bonds:
1. The Al Gore Bond, which has no interest.
2. The Monica Lewinsky Bond, which has no maturity,
3. The Bill Clinton Bond, which has no principle.
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball."I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition.""Batted .007," his wife added.
"One day the time will come for a black Bond and hopefully I can audition for it," U.S. rapper and entrepreneur Sean "Diddy" Combs said on the sidelines of the MTV Europe Music Awards late on Thursday.
“I think there’s going to be some big changes,” says Diddy. “You see, right now he’s James Bond. But I’d like to see him loosen up and have people call him Jimmy Bond.”
“Then a couple years down the line maybe they can go with Jimmy B, or J-Bond. Or maybe they could replace that ‘D’ with an ‘E’ and call him J-Bone. Basically, I want the part when they get around to calling him B-uh. Just a ‘B’ with an ‘uh’ on the end. That’s my flavor.”
There is no stronger bond of friendship than a mutual enemy.
Q. What's the difference between a guitar player and a Savings Bond?
A. The Savings Bond will eventually mature and make money.
Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!