Bond Jokes / Recent Jokes

(lick your finger and then touch her shirt). Here, let me help you out of those wet clothes.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
I'm not sure if I'm gay. Will you help me find out?
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
So, howzabout the two of us going back to my place and you run your fingers through the hair on my back?
Hi! Can I buy you a car?
Bond. James Bond.
Wasn't it you who pinched me in the third grade?
I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
(Hand out a card that says) "Smile if you want to sleep with me" and then watch them try and hold back their laughter.
(Again hand out a card that says) Here I am, madly in love with you, on the verge of killing myself for your love and I don't even know your more...

Once James Bond and a Sri Lankan cricketer guy were flying together, seated next to each other.

Sri Lankan cricketer: "Hello, May I know your name please?"

James Bond: "I am Bond. James Bond."
James Bond: "And you?"

Sri Lankan cricketer: "I am Vaas..... Chaminda Vaas..... Joseph Chaminda Vaas..... Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas...... Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas...... Warnakulasuriya Patabendige Ushantha Joseph Chaminda Vaas "

James Bond collapses.