Boots Jokes / Recent Jokes
An elderly couple were vacationing in Texas. George had always wanted an authentic pair of cowboy boots, so when he saw some on sale one day, he bought a pair. Walking very proudly, he wore them home.
He walked into their room and said to his wife, "Notice anything different, Sarah?"
Sarah looked him over and replied, "Nope."
"Come on, Sarah," he said excitedly, "Take a good look. Notice anything different about me?"
Sarah looked him over again and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated, George stormed off into the bathroom, undressed, and walked back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again he asked, a little louder this time, "Now, do you notice anything different?"
Sarah looked up and said, "What's different, George? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, George screamed, "And do you have any idea why it's more...
Why did the reindeer wear black boots?
Because his brown ones were all muddy!
He walks into their room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie?"
Bessie looks him over, "Nope."
Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?"
Bessie looks again, "Nope."
Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT?"
Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what'different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!"
To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. Shoulda bought a hat!"
'Twas the Night Before Christmas: Texas Version
T'was the night before Christmas, in Texas, you know.
Way out on the prairie, without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
A dreamin' of Christmas, like me and you.
Not stockings, but boots, at the foot of their bed,
For this was Texas, what more need be said,
When all of a sudden, from out of the still night,
There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright.
And I saw 'cross the prairie, like a shot from a gun,
A loaded up buckboard, come on at a run,
The driver was ''Geein'' and ''Hawin'', with a will,
The horses (not reindeer) he drove with such skill.
''Come on there Buck, Poncho, & Prince, to the right,
There'll be plenty of travelin' for you all tonight.''
The driver in Levi's and a shirt that was red,
Had a ten-gallon Stetson on top of his head.
As he stepped from the buckboard, he was really a sight,
With his beard and moustache, so curly and more...
George and God
George wanted to perform a leap of faith to prove to his friends that God does exist, so they all drove up to nearby Mount Sarcasm. At the top of the plateau they stopped and all got out and George says I will prove to you once and for all that God is real.
The friends all look at each other and laugh... one guy says Soooooo, let me get this straight...ya gonna jump of this mountain with no parachute and hope that this almighty is gonna catch ya?
Yes says George full of confidence.
The friends all laugh louder this time and goad George on to do the jump. One guy by the name of Sid says Hey George, since ya gonna die, can I have ya boots?
George sneered at the remark, ran towards the edge of the mountain and leapt off.
On the way down he gets very disconcerted that God had not shown up yet to save him and soon realises that he is going to die any second. His last vocal was OH, GOD HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee...thud!
The friends looked over more...
One day the sheriff saw Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on but his boots.
"Billy-Bob, whatcha doin' walkin' 'round town like that?" demanded the sheriff.
"Well, sheriff," Billy-Bob replied, "me and Cindy-Lou was a-cuddlin' down on the farm. Cindy-Lou said we should go in the barn, so we did. Then we started a-kissin' and a-cuddlin' some more and things got pretty hot and heavy. Then Cindy-Lou took off all her clothes and said I should too. So I took off everythin' but my boots."
Then Cindy-Lou lay herself down on the hay," Billy-Bob continued, "and she said to me, 'Okay, Billy-Bob, let's go to town!' Looks like I's the first one here, sheriff."
Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff.' 'Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin' walkin' down Main Street wearin' nothin' but your gunbelt and boots?''
''Well Sheriff,it's a long story.''
''I ain't going nowhere,'' said the Sheriff.
''Well Sheriff, a couple hours ago I ran into Mary Lou in the saloon. We had ourselves a couple of drinks and then we started to feelin' kinda frisky and Mary Lou said,' Why don't we go out to the barn?' So we did. Then we started getting real close and cuddin' and smoochin' and Mary Lou said,' Why don't we go out back and go up to the top of the hill.' So we did. He continued,' 'We started cuddlin' and smoochin' some more and the next thing I know, Mary Lou had taken off all her clothes and she suggested that I do the same. So I did, all except my gunbelt and boots. Then Mary Lou laid down more...