Boots Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young fellow at the state fair stood watching an old indian. Above the old indian was a sign that read, "$5. 00 - If I can't tell you where you're from, I'll pay you $50. 00!".
The young man watched a cowboy approach the indian and ask, "Is the sign right?".
The indian says, "yes".
The cowboy hands him a five and says, "you're on!"
The indian looks the cowboy up and down, noticing some cow dung on his boots and flatly states, "you're from Wyoming!".
The cowboy shakes his head and says, "I'll be darned! You're right!" and strolls away.
A second cowboy approaches the indian and goes through the same routine. Handing him the fiver, he stands and watches as the indian looks him up and down and notices a bit of straw and cow dung on his boots. The indian says, "you're from Montana!"
The cowboy, dejected as all get out, walks away.
The young man decides he's going to give the more...
An elderly couple is vacationing in the City of Colombo. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.
Upon arriving home, he walks into their room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope." Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?" Bessie looks again, "Nope."
Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT?" Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW more...
Q: Why don't you wear snow boots?
A: Because they'll melt.
The teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots. He had asked for help and she could see why.
With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on.
When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on -- this time on the right feet.
He then announced, "These aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.
Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.
He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."
She didn't know if more...
- If your hat, belt and boots cost more than your sidearm.
- If you know what a' court gun' is.
- If you have a' court gun'.
- If directions to a location involve livestock, property descriptions, or the words "When you get off the pavement."
- If the winner of the last three bar room brawls was last years Homecoming Queen.
- Dressing up for court involves pressed Wranglers and a Brushpopper shirt.
- If anyone on the Department is named' Bubba'.
- If you don't know Bubba's real name.
- If Bubba is his real name.
- If you've ever gotten a confession from a critter by threatening him with either his Mama or God.
- If your interview for the job involved the question: "Can you take a whuppin'?"
- If you have more weapons and ammunition in your cruiser than most small nations have in their armies.
- If you've ever had an' Officer Involved Shooting' where the victim was a feral hog or other four-pawed critter more...
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"
A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer." So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall." "That's very interesting," replies the researcher and he leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer." So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall." "That's very interesting," replies the researcher. "That's how they do it in Cornwall too." And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets a farmer from Abergaveny." So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of more...