Breast Jokes / Recent Jokes

A sardarni competed with a french woman and an english woman in the breast stroke division of an english channel swim competition.
The french woman came in first, the english woman second.
The sardarni finally reached shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked, "i don't want to complain, but i think those other two girls used their arms."

A deaf couple married and found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out, since they couldn't see each other signing or lips to lip-read.
After numerous nights of fumbling around the wife decided she had a solution. "Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For example, if you want to have sex at night, squeeze my left breast once, if you don't, then reach over and squeeze my right breast twice."
Thinking it over, the husband agreed that it sounded like a great idea. He then suggested to his wife, "If you want to have sex at night, reach over and pull my penis once. If you don't want to have sex, pull on my penis two hundred times."

And God Created Woman. And She was Good. She had 2 arms, 2 legs and 3 breasts. And God asked the woman what she would like to have changed about herself. She asked for her middle breast to be removed. And it was good. She stood with her third breast in her hand and asked God what should be done with the useless boob? And God created Man!

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a womanbeside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. Theyare both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft asyour breast, I know you'll forgive me."She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

Henry and his over-developed wife were sitting in the stands waiting for the football game to begin. A friend walked over, said, "Hello Henry," gave Henry's wife's breast a little squeeze and walked away.
A few minutes later another guy walked over, said, "Hello Henry," then, he too, fondled his wife's breasts and walked on.
This strange sequence of events went on for some time.
Finally a man sitting next to Henry spoke up, "Listen pal, It's none of my business, but isn't it a little odd that at least twelve guys came by, said hello to you then grabbed your wife by the breast? What's the story?"
Henry looked at him and moaned, " What can I do? If I leave her at home, she sleeps with everybody!"

Three women were competing in the English Channel Breast Stroke Competition, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead.
The brunette won and the redhead came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. As time went on without her appearing, the crowd was becoming more and more concerned. Just as they were about to lose hope, the blonde finally arrived.
Overjoyed and relieved to see she was safe, they embraced the young girl as she came ashore.
After all the excitement had died down, she leaned over to the judge and said, "I don't mean to be a poor loser, but I'm sure those other girls used their arms!"

A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office.
She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor.
After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?"
"Oh... he is breast fed!", replied the woman.
"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor.
She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table.
The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.
The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says, "No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!"
The woman with a wry grin on her face responds, "Well of course I don't, I'm his aunt!"