Breath Jokes / Recent Jokes

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said:' Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?'The Fairy Godmother replied:' Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?'Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish.' I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension.' Instantly her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Cinderella said' Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!' The Fairy Godmother replied' It is the least I can do. What is your second wish?' Cinderella looked down at her frail body and more...

A handsome young man and a beautiful girl met and it was love at first sight. They immediately got married and went on their honeymoon. On their wedding night, the bride went into the bathroom to freshen up.
Unfortunately, she had a case of bad breath so severe she had to take a powerful drug to control it. She was about to take the drug when she decided it would be best to let her husband in on her secret since they would be spending the rest of their lives together.
So she returned to bed without taking the drug.
Her husband then went into the bathroom to freshen up. He also had a problem with foot odor so offensive it required a special preparation to keep it under control. He was about to apply the preparation when he decided it would be better to let his wife know about his problem because she would find out about it sooner or later anyway.
He skipped applying the preparation, returned to bed, grabbed his wife and gave her a big kiss.
She said, more...

Sarah, 7: "I only know the names of two angels - Hark and Harold."
Gregory, 5: "Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it."
Olive, 9: "It's not easy to become an angel. First, you die. Then you go to heaven, then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes."
Matthew, 9: "Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else."
Mitchell, 7: "My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science."
Henry, 8: "Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!"
Jack, 6: "Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead."
Daniel, 9: "When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere more...

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother.

Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"

The Fairy Godmother replied "Well Cinderella, since you have lived a good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you 3 wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella is taken aback, overjoyed and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish "I wish I was wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned.

Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, more...

At one of the packed, Delta ticket counters all of ticket agents were doing their best to politely process each passenger as quickly as they could. A man toward the end of the snaking line of passengers was obviously impatient and very frustrated at having to wait so long in the slow moving line. He finally decided to march right up to the counter pulling his wheeled suitcase and demanded that he be given his boarding pass. The ticket agent turned, looked at him, blinked, took a shallow, deep breath and said, "Sir, as you can see there are many passengers ahead of you. We are doing our best to process the passengers as fast as we can. Im afraid youll have to get back in line". Outraged and red in the face, the man yelled at the ticket agent saying, "Do you know who I am? ??!!!." The ticket agent turned, looked at him, blinked, took another shallow, deep breath, picked up the publi c address system microphone and said calmly, "There is a man at the Delta ticket more...

A man is forced to seek a doctor's advice because his breath smells terrible.
The doctor examines him and says: "Either stop biting your nails or stop scratching your hemorrhoids!"

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
The Groom-to-be, hoping to overcome his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. " Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage."
His father replied, "Do you love this girl?"
" Oh yes, very much," he said," But you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them."
" No problem," said dad, " All you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to discuss her problem with her mom." Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful."
" Honey," her mother consoled, " more...