Bridge Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ole and Sven were taking a vacation in Sven's new camper. As usual, they'd become lost and were wandering around a strange town trying to find the highway. Sven was just starting down a grade to go under a bridge when he slams on the brakes.Ole: Vat da heck you do dat for, Sven?Sven: Dat sign dere says "Low Bridge. No Vehicles Over Twelve Feet High." Dis here camper is t'irteen feet!Ole: Cripes almighty Sven, dere ain't no cops around. Yust hit da gas pedal and go for it!

A man was on a bridge as a news reporter walked by. She was told that if she didn't cover another story in 2 hours, she'd be fired. All of a sudden, the man starts to count "1,2,.."
"Wait!" interrupts the reporter.
"What is it?"
"What are you trying to do?"
"I'm going to commit suicide."
"May I join you?"
"Certainly."
The two shout "1,2..."
They're interrupted by a man walking down the street.
"May I join you?" he asks.
"Sure."
"1,2..."
As soon as the two men said 3, they jumped off, but the clever reporter stayed behind.
"3,2,1, and cue!"
"Good evening, I am just arriving at the scene of a crime. Two men just jumped off of this bridge."

Bruce is driving over Harbor Bridge one day listening to some music in his car and just having a really great day. Suddenly he looks over through the streams of traffic and he sees his girlfriend Sheila standing on the side of the bridge looking down.

It's pretty apparent that she's just about to throw herself off the bridge into the water far below. Bruce slammed on the brakes and his car screeches to a halt. he bolts out of the car and shouts, "Sheila! What the hell do you think you're doin babe'?"

Sheila turned around with tears welling up in her eyes and says, "Bruce, honey! You got me pregnant and and I don't want to be a burden so now I'm just gonna kill myself!"

Bruce got a lump in his throat and climbs back into his car when he heard this and says to her, "Sheila, not only are you a great screw, but you're a good sport about it too!"

'Doctor, doctor.I think that I'm a bridge.'
'What on earth's come over you?'
'Well a car, a bike... '

SMARTASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMARTASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."

SMARTASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMARTASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled more...

A young magician started to work on a cruise ship with his pet parrot. The parrot would always steal his act by saying things like, "he has a card up his sleeve" or "he has a dove in his pocket." One day the ship sank and the magician and the parrot found themselves alone on a lifeboat. For a couple of days, they just sat there looking at each other. Finally, the parrot broke the silence and said, "Okay, I give up. What did you do with the ship?"
McGee "A young man and an old man are talking.
"Do you see that barn over there?" the old man says. "I built that barn with my own bare hands in just three days. Do they call me McGee the barn builder? Oh, no, no, no."
The young man says, "Yes, sir, but... "
"And do you see that bridge over there?" says the old man. "I built that bridge with my own bare hands in just two days. Do they call me McGee the bridge builder? Oh, no, no, more...

There was 6 blondes and 1 brunette riding in a car over a bridge. Suddenly, the bridge collasped, leaving all 7 of them holding to a rope that was about to break. The brunette gave a wondurful speech about how she was going to let go, so the others could live. The blondes were so touched that they clapped.