Bumper Jokes / Recent Jokes

Actual bumper sticker on a jeep (the writing was upside down). "If you can read this, flip me over!"

While driving to work, I found myself behind an old Ford Falcon, with five teenage boys inside. The best part was the bumper sticker in the center of the rear window. It read:
DON'T LAUGH, YOUR DAUGHTER COULD BE IN HERE!

Jesus loves you... but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

Impotence...
Nature's way of saying
"No hard feelings,"

The proctologist called. .. they found your head.
Everyone has a photographic memory
... some just don't have any film.
Save your breath...
You'll need it to blow up your date.
Your ridiculous little
opinion has been noted.
I used to have a handle on life. . .
but it broke off.
WANTED: Meaningful
overnight relationship.
Guys... just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.
Some people just don't know how to drive...
I call these people "Everybody But Me,"
Heart Attacks...
God's revenge for eating His animal friends.
Don't like my driving?
Then quit watching me.
If you can read this..
I can slam on my brakes and sue you.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Try not to let your more...

Funny Bumper Stickers:
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Auntie Em, hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

One day I recieved a letter from grandma...

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just more...

: three men get on a ship-bob, joe, and steve.
bob has water with him.
joe has bread.
steve, the die hard longhorn fan, brings a car door complete with 56 longhorn bumper stickers. (apparently he didnt catch the bumper stciker part)
" why do you have water, bob?"joe asks.
" in case i get thirsty... why do you have bread?"bob answers.
" incase i get hungry,"joe says.
" steve, why do you have a car door?" they both ask.
" in case i get hot, i can roll the window down and cheer for my team!!"

(Washington DC) Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.
(Virginia) A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.
(Washington DC) A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled - leaving his wallet on the counter.
(Virginia) A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle more...