Bumper Jokes / Recent Jokes

There once was two men in a bar, the first man said to the second man: Hey! I noticed there was a bumper sticker on your car!
The second man looks suspicious and says: Yeah! What of it?
The first man says: Well, I collect bumper stickers and I didn't really get to read yours.
The second man: Okay! You're point is?
The first man: Can you tell me what it says?
The second man, looking even more suspicious than before clunches his fists tight, nocks down his beer bottle, stands up with his fist to the first man's face and says: Look! I know what you did last summer, how could you kill my father?
The first man then runs out of the bar, scared as freak, and when he is driving away, he catches a glimpse of the man's bumper sticker and it said: Look! I know what you did last summer, how could you kill my father?
He drives away in his car and pulls out a dead man's body with a knife in it and his name tag says, father of The Second Man!

This is off a Coast Guard bumper sticker:
Support Search and Rescue: GET LOST!

Grandma writes:
The other day I went to the local religious book store where I saw a "Honk if you really love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed.
I was stopped at the light of a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Lord because pretty soon he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could.
Why, it was like a football game with him shouting, "Go, Jesus Christ, Go!"
Everyone else started honking too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and I saw him more...

10. "Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!"
9. "One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it"
8. "HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!"
7. "Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!"
6. "Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!"
5. "CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical."
4. "If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?"
3. "Have you hugged a Ferengi today?"
2. "We brake for cubes!"
1. "Wesley On Board!"
Best Bumper sticker on Borg ship:
"Blonde Borgs have the same fun."

One day I recieved a letter from grandma...
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my more...

One day I recieved a letter from grandma...The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and more...

Here are some "actual" bumper stickers reportedly seen on cars around the DC area:

HONK! If you had sex with the President
Clinton: We forgive you... Now Resign!
Al Gore: One heartthrob from the Presidency
Adultery IS NOT a family value
Does character matter YET?
One More Whore And We Get Gore
Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat
My President Fooled Around with Your Honor Student
Jail to the Chief
Today kids no longer play doctor, they play President
The Clinton Creed: Take Credit Not Responsibility
If his private life doesn't matter, let him date your daughter.
Save the President: Legalize Perjury
Two terms for Clinton: the second in jail
Clinton: Our Nation's Fondling Father