Bumper Jokes / Recent Jokes

I just heard an announcer on the radio that said, "those New Yorkers are really tough people. They had a bumper sticker made up for the Democrats, that is on the rear bumpers of huge amounts of cars. It reads,

"RUN HILLARY RUN"...

However, the Republican's are putting it on their FRONT BUMPERS.

BANDERSNATCH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING LIST

This year The Frumious Bandersnatch highlights some of the more
arcane or utterly worthless things you can give as a Christmas
gift.

PHOTO PANTIES
Have your picture silk screened onto your girlfriend's panties
for only $19. 95. You can imagine all the creative purposes this
can be put to.

YOU DON'T KNOW JACK II
The new edition of this game is designed for know-it-alls and
includes questions about subjects such as the difference between
Visigoths and Ostergoths that are sure to stump them.

FREE BAJA ARIZONA BUMPER STICKERS
We still have a supply of our non-waterproof bumper stickers that
melt away at the first drop of rain. Good for use only in
extremely arid regions.

WAX BULLETS
Perfect for shooting insects inside your house, our wax bullets
come in 22 and 38 caliber sizes.

LIVE TUMBLEWEEDS
Decorate your house in more...

Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home--. with the chain still attached to the machine-- with their bumper still attached to the chain-- with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.

I saw this bumper sticker yesterday.
Our child was
INMATE OF THE MONTH
at Santa Clara County Juvinile Detention Facility

Stupid people

LICENSE TO STEAL

Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.

IN THE BAG

A "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, stood in line at the customs counter. While making idle chatter, the customs official thought it odd that the golfer didn`t know what a handicap was. The officer then asked the tourist to demonstrate his swing. He did - backwards. A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.

MADE FOR TV

Guns For Hire, an Arizona company specializing in staged gunfights for Western movies, got a call from a 47-year-old woman who wanted more...

The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!"Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up more...

BUMPER STICKERS
I love cats. .. they taste just like chicken

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car

Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but YOU'RE still an IDIOT!

My kid can beat up your honor student!

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will, I want to be in more...