Burglar Jokes / Recent Jokes

A burglar is rummaging through a drawer in a person's home one night when he hears someone whisper "Jesus is watching you". Startled, the burglar turns only to see no-one. "Who's there?" he demands. After a moment of waiting, he decides that it was only his imagination. He resumes his looting, and after a moment, he again hears someone whisper "Jesus is watching you". Now, very alarmed the burglar searches out the origin of the noise. While searching, he again hears someone whisper, "Jesus is watching you". This time he can tell where it came from. He feels his way across the room, and arrives at an object covered by a blanket. Someone whispers "Jesus is watching you". He rips the cover off to reveal a birdcage with a parrot inside. The parrot whispers "Jesus is watching you". Irritated, the man yells "shut-up Polly!" The bird says in return, "My name's not Polly, it's Raymond". Chuckling mildly the man more...

A burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, “I can see you, and so can Jesus! ”
Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business.
“I can see you, and so can Jesus! ”
The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, “I can see you, and so can Jesus! ”
“So what, ” says the burglar, “you’re only a parrot! ”
To which the parrot replies, “Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler! ”

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no, no!", said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

A burglar has just made it into the house he's intending ransacking, and he's looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!"Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business." I can see you, and so can Jesus!"The burglar jumps again, and takes a longer look around the room. Over in the corner by the window, almost obscured by curtains, is a cage in which sits a parrot, who pipes up again, "I can see you, and so can Jesus!""So what," says the burglar, "you're only a parrot!"To which the parrot replies, "Maybe, but Jesus is a rottweiler!"

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver? Im at your service, maam.

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you."

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes," said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."