Businessman Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Jewish diamond ring
A businessman boarded a plane and sat next to Hannah, an elegant woman wearing the largest and most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.
"This is the Egoheimer diamond," Hannah said, "it`s beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."
"What`s the curse?" the man asked.
"Mr Egoheimer."

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travelbag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed tostuff it in the overhead bin.

"Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed.

"No more," the man said. "Next time, Im riding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"

66. A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices that she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indialns have the longest average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kowalski, nice to meet you."

A Ukraine businessman who bought a pager for each member of his staff as a New Years gift, was so alarmed when all 50 of them went off at the same time that he drove his car into a lamp post, a newspaper said Thursday.
The unnamed businessman was returning from the pager shop when the accident happened, the Fakty daily reported.
"With no more than 100 meters to go to the office, the 50 pagers on the back seat suddenly burst out screeching.
The businessman's fright was such that he simply let go of the steering wheel and the car ploughed into a lamp post."
After he had assessed the damage to the car, the businessman turned his attention to the message on the 50 pagers. It read: "Congratulations on a successful purchase!"

A Ukraine businessman who bought a pager for each member of his staff as a New Years gift, was so alarmed when all 50 of them went off at the same time that he drove his car into a lamp post, a newspaper said Thursday.The unnamed businessman was returning from the pager shop when the accident happened, the Fakty daily reported."With no more than 100 meters to go to the office, the 50 pagers on the back seat suddenly burst out screeching.The businessman's fright was such that he simply let go of the steering wheel and the car ploughed into a lamp post."After he had assessed the damage to the car, the businessman turned his attention to the message on the 50 pagers. It read: "Congratulations on a successful purchase!"

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if theres any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him hes in luck; theres a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, What the heck did you put on this pizza? The delivery man bows deeply and says, We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only.

American businessman was at a pier in a small coastalMexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fintuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality ofhis fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didnt he stay out longer andcatch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his familysimmediate needs. The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest ofhis time. The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine andplay guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could helpyou. You should spend more time fis hing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from thebigger boat, you could buy several boats, more...