Cabbie Jokes / Recent Jokes

A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small, high, voice, "Could you please take me to Times Square?"
In a thick Brooklyn accent the cabbie initiates conversation, "Hey sista, that' s kinda a long drive? You mind if we, like, chat?"
The nun says, "Why no my son, whatever is on your mind?"
The cabbie, "About dis celibacy thing, are you telling me you never think about doin' it?"
The nun, "Why certainly, my son, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. I am of weak human flesh you understand."
The cabbie, "Well, woulda ever consider, you know, doin'it?"
The nun, "Well, I suppose under certain conditions, in a very unique circumstan ce, I might consider it."
The cabbie, "Well what would dose conditions happen to be?"
The nun, "Well he'd have to be Catholic, unmarried and well, certainly, he coul d have no children."
The cabbie, more...

A mother and her young daughter were riding in a cab through Los Angeles when the daughter noticed some scantily clad women standing around a street corner.
"Mommy, what are all those ladies doing?" asked the little girl.
"They're waiting around for their husbands to come home from work, dear," the mother replied.
"Oh, c'mon lady, tell the truth. They're hookers! the cabbie retorted.
After a few moments of silence, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do hookers have children?"
"Of course, dear," replied the mother. "Where do you think cab drivers come from?"

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "Whats that building there?" "Thats the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie."12 years? We build em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months." A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "Whats that building over there?" asked the Texan. "Thats the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How longd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only takes us more...

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport then could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain His financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big time. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the more...

There was this cowboy from Texas who decided to do a little traveling and when he got as far north as Kansas City he was feeling pretty horny so decided to stay a while.
That evening he hailed a cab and asked the cabbie about houses of ill repute, so the cabbie took him to one that he knew well.
After choosing a suitable looking gal they went upstairs and on the way the girl commented on how tall the man was. The cowboy said everything from Texas was big. After getting undressed and the girl had taken a good look she said I can see what you mean about everything from Texas being big.
"Yes ma'am" said the cowboy, " I mean everything."
After they had finished their business and were getting dressed the cowboy asked "By the way ma'am, what part of Texas are you from?"

> >
> > NUN STORY
> >
> > A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a
> > small, high, voice, "Could you please take me to Times Square?"
> >
> > In a thick Brooklyn accent the cabbie initiates conversation,
> > "Hey sista, that's kinda a long drive? You mind if we, like, chat?
> >
> > The nun says, "Why no my son, whatever is on your mind?"
> >
> > The cabbie, "About dis celibacy thing. Are you telling me you
> > never think about doin' it?
> >
> > The nun, "Why certainly, my son, the thought has crossed my
> > mind a time or two. I am of weak human flesh you understand."
> >
> > The cabbie, "Well, woulda ever consider, you know, doin' it?"
> >
> > The nun, "Well, I suppose under certain conditions, in a very
> > unique circumstance, I might consider it.
> >
> > The cabbie, "Well what would dose more...

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie. "12 years? We build' em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months." A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build' em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only more...