Caddy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tiger, Tiger, bleeding bright
In the driveway of the night
What small Swedish hand or wrist
With a three-wood your head kissed?

What the anger, what the fire
Was so stoked by the Enquirer?
Twas there motive, twas there goal?
Did you play an extra hole?

Couldst thou not appease her
After bedding a skeezer?
Was your mom of no aid, though
Batt’ling that white tornado?

Were you chased from hearth and home
A golf club aimed at your dome?
Did the instinct come to pass
“My caddy will save my ass”?

When Elin did swing her club
Did you cower like a cub?
Did you know she’d hit a ton
And put you on the green in one?

When the impact made a thud
Wat’ring the lawn with your blood
Did she smile her work to see?
And did the pain make you pee?

And as neighbors heard your snores
Did you dream about your whores?
Complete defeat, more...

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. Its distracting!"Caddy: "This isnt a watch, sir, its a compass!"

John Smith was definitely not the best of golfers. One day he decided to go to a new golf course where no one knew him, just to get away and see if it was possible for him to do better elsewhere.
He hired a caddy to guide him around the course. After another day of his usual slices, duff shots, misread putts and bad temper, he was totally discouraged and upset.
Turning to the caddy he said, "I must be the world's worst golfer."
"Not really sir," replied the caddy. "From what I understand there's a guy by the name of John Smith from across town who is the worst player ever!"

Near the end of a particularly trying round of golf, during which the golfer had hit numerous fat shots, he said in frustration to his caddy, "I'd move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course.""Try heaven," said the caddy. "You've already moved most of the earth."

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think my game is improving?"Caddy: "Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says: “How is the singing career going? ”
Stevie Wonder says: “Not too bad, the latest album has gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By the way how’s the golf. ”
Nicklaus replies: “Not too bad, I am not winning as much as I used to but I am still making a bit of money. I have had some problems with my swing but I think I have got that right now. ”
Stevie Wonder says: “I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it, then the next time I play it seems to be alright. ”
Jack Nicklaus says: “You play golf! ”
Stevie Wonder says: “Yes, I have been playing for years. ”
And Nicklaus says: “But I thought you were blind, how can you play golf if you are blind? ”
He replies: “I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his more...

Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident
golfer said to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."
The caddy argued with him a bit and suggested that he instead play it
safe and hit a four-iron then a wedge. The golfer was insulted and
proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy on the tee telling him that
he was a better golfer than that and how dare the caddy under
estimate his game.
So, giving in, the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had
asked for. He proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled
about fifteen yards off the front of the tee.
Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, "And now for
one long putt..."