Carpenter Jokes / Recent Jokes

St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven."Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of the men, who had been a butler."I was a good father," he answers."Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance."St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and asked him the same question. The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good care of his family. But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named BonBon. At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up and said, "Come on, Penny, let? s get out of here."

Saint Peter is standing at the gates of Heaven when nature calls. He asks Jesus
to take his place and tells Jesus what to do.
After a while, an old man approaches the gates and Jesus proceeds to ask him
some questions, "What was your occupation?"
The old man answers, "I was a carpenter."
Jesus asks, "Did you have any children?"
"Well," answers the old man, "I had a son, but he left me a long time ago. He
had holes in his hands and feet."
"Father?" asks Jesus surprised.
The old man asks, "Pinocchio?"

St. Mark has been guarding the Pearly gates for a long time, and it's
well past time for St. Peter to relieve him, and St. Peter hasn't come
by, so finally Jesus takes pity on him and takes over. While He's there,
an old man comes up to the gates.
"Welcome to heaven" says Jesus, "tell me a bit about yourself."
"Well," says the old man, "when I was alive, I was a carpenter. I had a
son, and for a while he was a carpenter too, helping about the shop, but he
left home. Made quite a name for himself, for a while, but they killed him..."
Jesus stared searchingly at the old man.
"Father?" he asked.
The old man stared back. "Pinnochio?"

Bhola went to a carpenter and said, "Can you build me a box that is two inches high, two inches wide, and fifty feet long?"
"Hmm..." mused the carpenter. "It could be done, I suppose, but what would you want a box like that for?"
"Well, you see," said Bhola, "my neighbor moved away and forgot some things, so he asked me to send him his garden hose."

St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven. "Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of the men, who had been a butler. "I was a good father," he answers. "Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance." St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and asked him the same question. The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good care of his family. But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named BonBon. At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up and said, "Come on, Penny, let? s get out of here."

St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven.
"Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of the men, who had been a butler.
"I was a good father," he answers.
"Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance."
St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and asked him the same question.
The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good care of his family.
But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named BonBon.
At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up and said, "Come on, Penny, let's get out of here."

These three friends, a Dentist, a Carpenter, and an Electrician were sitting around trying to decide what prank to pull on a mutual friend. Their friend was getting married soon, and his good buddies just felt compelled to play some prank, as all good buddies would.After sitting around brainstorming for a while, the Electrician had a thought, "I know! I know! I can wire the bed so that when our friend and his new bride sit on it and touch one another, they'll get a good shock."The Carpenter perked up and added, "and I can rig the bed so that when they get shocked and jump apart, the bed will collapse."The Dentist just sat in silence, because he couldn't think of a thing to do.After the fortunate couple's wedding and honeymoon, the groom called his friends together for a chat. He said to them, "Well, when we sat on the bed and got a shock, it wasn't that bad. And then when we jumped apart and the bed fell in, we had a good laugh. But who's bright idea was it to more...