Carter Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to break his promises.
The science section of Tuesday's The New York Times (Jan 6, 1998) includes a profile of Biologist Dr. Anne Simon (U Mass, Amherst). The piece (by Carey Goldberg) is entitled "The Science Adviser to Whaaat?"
It seems that Dr. Simon has, for some time, been a friend of one Chris Carter. Carter is the creator of the X-FILES TV show on the Fox network (U.S.). For the uninitiated, Goldberg describes X-FILES as a "dark confection of conspiracy, fantasy and paranormalcy." On the show two FBI agents come across aliens (from outer space), witches, vampires and high government conspiracies. But the crazy thing is often well written and filled with dry humor (EG. in one episode about a southern town whose economy was based upon a chicken processing plant and whose culture was steeped in cannibalism, the local company's motto was: GOOD PEOPLE MAKE GOOD FOOD).
When Carter started to write scripts for the show he called on Dr. Simon for scientific expertise. Simon says more...
While the secretary was sitting in Mr. Greene's office taking dictation she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the office she told him, "Mr. Greene, your barracks door is open."
Not understanding her remark he looked down some time later and noticed that his fly was unzipped. He decided to have some fun and called her back into his office. "Tell me Miss Carter, when you saw my barracks door open, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?" he asked.
Miss Carter replied, "No sir. What I did see was a tiny diabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."
Jimmy Carter said Iraq is one of the "greatest blunders that American presidents have ever made." Take that Democrats, Carter admitted that Bush is the greatest.
Jimmy Carter and his wife just had their bicycles stolen while vacationing in Florida. It is speculated the thieves were members of the Olympic triathalon squad in 1980.
Why is President Carter important to Hamburger Land in April? One the opening day of the baseball season, he throws out the first meatball!