Chasing Jokes / Recent Jokes

A doctor is standing in the hall of a hospital talking with a colleague when suddenly one of his patients runs down the hall in his hospital gown screaming at the top of his lungs.
Right behind the patient is a nurse carrying a pan of steaming, boiling-hot water, obviously chasing the patient.
The doctor interrupts his conversation with his colleague and shouts to the chasing nurse, "Miss Jones, I said 'Prick his boil!'"

Dan was 80 years old and still enjoyed chasing girls.
One day, he asked his wife is she minded.
"Why should I be upset?" she replied. "Dogs chase cars, but they can't drive."

A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two bs already.

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked. "This woman was found committing adultery, and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded. "Wait," yelled Jesus. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head. "Aw, c'mon, Dad..." Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"

Here i lay in the hospital on my death bed. Trying to figure out if i'm going to heaven or hell.
An angel comes in to take a tally of my sins. he advises me that it don't look good for me to be able to go to heaven as your records show you have broken 9 of the ten commandmens.
why is that he asked?
lets see i quit drinking when i was 21, and quit chasing wemon at 24.
that is good he said you have 2 points in your faver.
no i don't, when i quit drinking at 21 is because i sobered up and found out it was legal to drink so that took all the fun out off it.
when i quit chasing wemon at 24 is because i caught the one i was chasing.
now 50 yrs of being merried 45 yrs of it was living in hell already with that she devil so i think i deserve to go up as i already served my time in merital hell.