Cheney Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bush legal team sues Santa Claus
By S. Artist Reuters
AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon, asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time before packing his sleigh.
The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas, asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and certify the original list as submitted, without amendment, alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification."
"There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times does he need to check? This checking, checking, and re-checking more...

Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars
Bush/Cheney '04: Leave No Billionaire Behind
Bush/Cheney '04: Deja-Voodoo All Over Again!
Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism
Bush/Cheney '04: Because the Truth Just Isn't Good Enough
Bush/Cheney '04: Making the World a Better Place, One Country at a Time
Bush/Cheney '04: Over a Billion Whoppers Served.
Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "Con" in Conservative
Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for Not Paying Attention.
Bush/Cheney '04: The Last Vote You'll Ever Have to Cast
Bush/Cheney: Asses of Evil
Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder!
Bush/Cheney '04: This Time, Elect Us!
George W. Bush: The Buck Stops Over There
George W. Bush: A Brainwave Away from the Presidency
Don't think. Vote Bush!
More Trees, Less Bush
It Takes a Village Idiot
One Person, One Vote (*May Not Apply in Certain States)
Bring Back Monica Lewinsky

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you."
She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"
Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up.
G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"
And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you."
So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"
And Colin Powell says, "It's me!"
So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell."
And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Pundits and politicos on Sunday's talk shows were crying foul over President Hugo Chavez's speech at the U.N. Liberals said, "He can't call the President a devil, only we can do that."
Republicans called the speech more of a roast than anything diplomatic. If it were a roast, Chavez would have picked on others in the goverment.
"Enough about the devil... er, I mean Bush. You must forgive me my English is no good. How do you say, douchebag. I kidding."
"Dick Cheney is here. The only reason why Dick Cheney is against gay marriage, is because he's too cheap to pay for his daughter's wedding. But seriously, Cheney would love for his daughter to have a wedding, just as long as Haliburton can cater it. I kidding."
"John Bolton, U.N. Ambassador is here. John what is that on your upper lip, it looks like two caterpillars humping. Seriously, it looks like you're going down on the Shaggy D.A. I kidding."

Dick Cheney gets a call from his "boss", George W. Bush
"I've got a problem," says George.
"What's the matter?" asks Cheney.
"Well, you told me to keep busy in the Oval Office so I got a jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's it a picture of?" asks Cheney.
"A big rooster," replies George.
"All right," sighs Cheney, "I'll come over and have a look."
So he leaves his office and heads over to the Oval Office. G.W. points at the jigsaw on his desk.
Cheney looks at the desk and then turns to the president and says, "Oh, for pete's sake, George - put the corn flakes back in the box."

George W. Bush and Dick Cheney were talking when George W. groaned, "You know Dick, I really hate all the jokes people tell about me."
Trying to comfort him, Cheney said, "Don't let it get to you, George. There are lots of stupid people out there. Come with me and I'll prove it to you."
Cheney took Bush outside and hailed a cab. They both got in the cab and Cheney said to the driver, "Take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home."
Without saying a word, the cabby drove them to 29 Nickel Street where they both got out. Cheney then turned to George W. and said, "See! That guy was pretty stupid!"
"You're right, Dick, he was," replied George W. "There was a pay phone right around the corner. You could have called instead!"

George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking,
when George W. said, "I hate all the dumb George W. jokes people tell about me."
Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, Ill prove it to you."
Now Cheney, to patronize George W, took him outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if Im home," said Cheney.
The cab driver without saying a word drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, Cheney looked at George W. and said, "See That guy was really stupid"
"No kidding," replied George W. "There was a pay phone just around the corner...
You could have called instead?"