Chip Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do blondes have T. G. I. F. printed on each shoe?
"Toes Go In First."
What is the mating call of a blonde?
"I think I'm getting drunk"
What is the mating call of the brunette?
"Is the blonde bitch gone yet?"
What do blondes say after sex?
"Who were those men?"
Why do blondes wear panties?
"To keep their ankles warm!"
How do blondes turn on the lights after sex?
"Open the car door!"
What does a blonde have in common with an airplane?
"They both have a black box."
What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
"Goes Home."
What does a blonde wear behind her ears to attract men?
"Her ankles!"
What do you call a blonde with a dollar over her head?
"All You Can Eat, Under a Dollar!"
What does a blonde have in common with a turtle?
"If they end up on their back, they're more...

Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).

There was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies. With his last remaining strength he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet. As he grasped a warm, moist chocolate chip cookie, his favorite kind, his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula. Gasping for breath, he asked her, “Why did you do that? ” “Those are for the funeral. ”

An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.
He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table.
He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON'T TOUCH THOSE-they're for the funeral!"

A boy told his father, "I've been playing with my friend Billy"
The father said, "That's good son"
The boy said, "Billys got a peter like a potato chip"
The father said, "Well son everybody is different....wait you mean it's flat?"
The boy said, "No...it's salty!"

The stock market really plummeted today, but luckily there is a computer chip that is used to turn off the board if it gets too low.
The Cubs have the same chip in there scoreboard.

Take all the chip bags... open them... lick all the chips of their flavor and put them back in the bag...
hide one of their shoes every day for about a week...
Keep your room real messy for a few weeks. Clean it while your roommate is out. Leave before they come back. Arrive after them and then angrily accuse them of cleaning up your room.
Take all of the hair out of their brush and stick it to the wall with scotch tape.
Insist on cleaning their fingernails for them every night.
Crumple empty chip bags the whole time your roommate is home.
Make a shine dedicated to them.
Whistle one line of a song and repeat it for 3 days, then pick a new line.
Play Scottish music 24 hours a day full blast.
Every night at midnight, stick your head out the window and scream "GO AWAY MONSTERS! GO AWAY!" Do this every night for 6 weeks.
Sniff their underwear while they're still wearing it.
Buy fish and a fish tank. Dye the water with food coloring. more...