Chip Jokes / Recent Jokes
An Irishman goes into a chip shop and asks for a bag of chips. "what do you want, a 50 or 99 bag?" asked the woman. The Paddy replies, "If you are going to count them I'll have a bloody pie."
Yo Mama is so greasy the chip shop uses her sweat as Deep Fry!
Log On: Making a wood stove hot
Log Off: Too much wood on a fire
Monitor: Keep'n an eye on the wood stove
Download: Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
Megahertz: When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood
Floppy disc: Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood
Ram: That thar thang what splits the farwood
Hard Drive: Gitten home in the winter time
Windows: Whut to shut when its cold outside
Screen: Whut to shut when its black fly season
Byte: Whut dem dang flys do
Chip: Munchies fer the TV
Micro Chip: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
Modem: Whatcha do to the hay fields
Dot Matrix: Ole Dan Matrix's wife
Lap Top: Whar the kitty sleeps
Keyboard: Whar you hang the dang truck keys
Software: Dem dang plastic forks and knifes
Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn
Mousepad: That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives
Mainframe: Holds up the barn roof
Port: Fancy flatlander wine
Enter: Northerner more...
Log On:
Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off:
Don't add no wood.
Monitor:
Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
Download:
Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz:
When yer not careful down loadin'.
Floppy Disk:
Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.
Ram:
The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.
Hard Drive:
Getting' home in the winter season.
Prompt:
What you wish the mail was in the winter.
Windows:
What to shut when it's below 15 below.
Screen:
What 'cha need for the black fly season.
Byte:
That's what the flies do.
Chip:
What to munch on.
Micro Chip:
What's left in the bottom of the bag.
Infrared:
Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.
Modem:
What 'cha did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix:
Farmer Matrix's wife.
Lap Top:
Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard:
Where ya hang your keys.
Software:
Them plastic eatin' more...
How can you tell when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? By the M&M shells on the kitchen floor.
There were three guys in a hot tub, one was an asian, one was a muslim, and the other was a white guy.
They were all sitting there when the white guy heard a ringing noise and looked over to the muslim guy pushing buttons on his hand.
"hey" asked the white guy . "What are you doing?"
The muslim guy answered "oh, i got a chip put in my hand so my cell phone is planted in my hand."
"oh, thats cool, " said the white guy.
Then they were all kicking back when the white guy heard a beeping, and looked over to the asian guy pushing buttons in his wrist.
"what are you doing?" asked the white guy
"oh, i had a chip put in my wrist so my pager is planted into my wrist."
"oh thats cool, " said the white guy.
then the white guy got up to use the restroom because he had to go shit real bad.when he came back the muslim guy asked, "whats that?", "oh, " said the white guy more...