Cliff Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says "I want four budgies." Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I dont care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have yellow, blue, gr... Newfie - I dont care what color they are, just put four budgies in a box for me. Is that too hard? Salesman - O. K. O. K. The two newfies pay for the budgies and leave. They drive out to this high cliff in Newfoundland and the first newfie reaches in the box and pulls out two of the birds, grasps them firmly and jumps off the cliff while flapping his arms. Of course he SPLATS at the bottom. The second newfie looks down at his friends twisted remains and says "What a shame. this budgie jumping isnt all its cracked up to be!"
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette all jump off a cliff. Which one
hit the bottom first?
Not the blonde, she needed directions!
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette all jump off a cliff. Which onehit the bottom first? Not the blonde, she needed directions!
The boy who liked Jell-O
There once was a boy named Joe who loved to eat green Jell-O. On his 18th birthday his cake was made totally out of green Jell-O. His friend Billy Bob told Joe that if he ate the whole cake he would become a super-hero. Joe did this in hopes he could be like the power-puff-girls. When the cake was all gone Joe didn't feel to good. Billy Bob told him if he jumped off a cliff his stomach wouldn't hurt and since he was now a super-hero he could just fly around for a while. Joe thought this was really a sensible idea and wondered why he hadn't thought of it himself.
Joe found a cliff and jumped off. To his surprise he couldn't fly, he flapped his arms and everything else he'd seen birds do, but nothing seemed to work. Now he was terrified and he put his hands into prayer position and began to pray, "Our father who does art in heaven, Howard be your name…." And on it went like that until he came to a thump.
He had landed in a lake, and in more...
A man is walking along the top of a cliff when he comes across a small boy crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "My parents started arguing," he says, and then they started fighting. Then suddenly they fell right off the cliff!" The man gets his cock out and says, "It's not your lucky day, is it?"
You may or may not have heard of the Darwin Awards. It's an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
The following story suggests this year's leading contender:
The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out what it was and what had happened.
It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his more...