Clone Jokes / Recent Jokes

A scientist had been keeping a secret for over two decades -- he had sucessfully cloned a human being.

He kept meticulous records, raising the clone-child in his laboratory until it was an adult. Then he made his plans to unveil his creation at a meeting of top scientists, held in the luxurious facilities of a high-rise hotel.

When the time for his presentation came, the scientist stepped to the podium. He presented his data -- his pictures, his charts, his graphs -- to an amazed audience. But suddenly, instead of waiting for his cue to come forward, the clone stood up where he'd been sitting, and started shouting at the scientists assembled there.

This clone was an imaginative clone. He used language that would make a sailor blush, accusing his creator and all of his colleagues of the most amazing feats of perversion and vice.

Trying to regain control, the scientist ushered the clone out of the room and up to the roof of the hotel, where he more...

One day, in the far off future, a man met his clone. They decided to hike to the top of a steep cliff and started talking.
They were admiring the view when the clone started reeling off obsenity after obsenity.
The man can't believe what he is hearing. His clone is one foul-mouthed individual. The man gets so upset that he throws the clone over the edge and he falls to a tragic end.
What do you think the police charged him with?
Making an obscene clone fall.

A scientist had been keeping a secret for over two decades -- he had sucessfully cloned a human being. He kept meticulous records, raising the clone-child in his laboratory until it was an adult. Then he made his plans to unveil his creation at a meeting of top scientists, held in the luxurious facilities of a high-rise hotel. When the time for his presentation came, the scientist stepped to the podium. He presented his data -- his pictures, his charts, his graphs -- to an amazed audience. But suddenly, instead of waiting for his cue to come forward, the clone stood up where he'd been sitting, and started shouting at the scientists assembled there. This clone was an imaginative clone. He used language that would make a sailor blush, accusing his creator and all of his colleagues of the most amazing feats of perversion and vice. Trying to regain control, the scientist ushered the clone out of the room and up to the roof of the hotel, where he hoped the clone's shouts would go unheard. more...

Clone of My Own
(To the tune of "Home on the Range")

Oh, give me a clone,
With the genes like my own,
But convert my Y to an X.
And since she's like me,
It's a sure certainty,
That she'll think of nothing but sex.

(Chorus)

Clone, clone of my own,
Who's always eager to play,
Means we'll have great fun,
And I'll only need one,
So please get her started today.

As long as you're mixing,
Some genes could use fixing,
To make her the best she can be.
Blond hair and blue eyes,
And a skinnier size,
And an IQ a bit less than me.

(chorus)

Please send me my clone,
Just as soon as she's grown,
Past the virtual age of eighteen.
I'm tired of dating,
And eagerly waiting,
To make it on the cloning scene.

(chorus)

Once there was a mad scientist who worked by himself in his laboratory. He was so lonely that one day, he decided to clone himself. Everything worked perfectly, except that the clone had a very foul mouth. The scientist worked with the clone, but alas, he could not make the clone clean up his language. He got so tired of the clone's language that one day he pushed him off the end of a cliff.
A policeman rushed up to him, and yelled "You are under arrest!"
"What for?" the mad scientist asked.
And the policeman answered:
For making an obscene clone fall.

'Twas was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode,
only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds,
while visions of Nintendo 64 and Barbie, flipped through their heads.

The dad was snoring in front of the TV,
with a half-constructed bicycle on his knee.
So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter,
which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?"

With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand,
she descended the stairs, and saw the old man.
He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
"Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug."

"Ho-ho-ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake."
"Your gift was especially difficult to make."
"Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone."
"Exactly!" he more...

There was this doctor who for one reason or another decided to clone himself.
After it grew up and began looking more and more like him, he threw a party to show him off. The clone was a hit, a big hit. He walked, talked and acted exactly like the doctor.
Half-way into the party the clone went berserk. He started pinching all the womens breasts and grabbing their bottoms and using filthy, disgusting language. When enough of this had gone on to disrupt the party, the doctor began chasing the clone.
He chased him all through the house till finally they ended up on the roof. The doctor began to plea to the clone, inching closer and closer.
But he was too late, the clone fell to it's death on the street below. Distraught, to say the least, the doctor phoned the police and reported everything that had happened.
The police came and arrested the doctor, for making an obscene clone fall.