Clone Jokes / Recent Jokes

I don't know who to credit this to, but it was cute so I am posting it.
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was slightly grey.
It didn't have a father,
Just some borrowed DNA.
It sort of had a mother,
Though the ovum was on loan.
It was not so much a lambkin
As a little lamby clone.
And soon it had a fellow clone,
And soon it had some more.
It made the children laugh and sing,
The teachers found it droll;
There were too many lamby clones
For Mary to control.
No other could control the sheep
Since their programs didn't vary,
So the scientists resolved it all
By simply cloning Mary.
But now they feel quite sheepish,
Those scientists unwary.
One problem solved, but what to do
With Mary, Mary, Mary?

He was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper.
The scientist arrived with his clone and proceeded to the podium. The clone sat at the end of the head table. The scientist began the speech intending a tribute to the advances in the field of modern biology.
"My fellow scientists," he began. But before he could utter another word, the clone sprang to his feet and shouted out, "He's an ASSHOLE!". The crowd began to murmur as the scientist commanded the clone to "Sit down and shut-up!" Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, "My fellow scientists..." Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, "This dumb ASS couldn't produce a copy on a Xerox. He's a fraudulent SON-OF-A-BITCH!".
Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window.
The crowd gasped and security more...

A scientist was successful in cloning himself, and was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper.
"My fellow scientists," he began. But before he could utter another word, the clone jumped up and shouted, "he's a *&^^%*@)&!".
Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, "My fellow scientists,". Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, "this dumb *%@(&+*! couldn't produce a copy on a Xerox. He's a fraudulent *$3%$#*#+=!".
Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window.
The crowd gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New York's finest arrived and the events that had transpired were explained to them. The police chief said to the scientist, "We are going to have to arrest you."
The scientist replied, "For what? You can't arrest me for more...

Lou Alcinder was probably the greatest college basketball player of all time leading UCLA to three NCAA championships.
After graduating, he changed his name to Kareem Abdul Jabbar in recogniiton of his Muslem faith. He led the Milwaukee Bucks and later the Los Angeles Lakers to NCAA championships. Along with Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain, he is still considered one of the three best centers ever to play in the NCAA. After finishing his basketball career, he became an actor and is probably best remembered as the co-pilot in the farce "Airplane"
Even in college, he was fascinated by modern biological science and took part in an experiment whee cells were removed from his mouth, cultured and frozen where thy will be kept until science is advanced enough to clone humans. He has been promised that his cells will be the first used. Because of this the project at UCLA has always been known as "Iced Kareem Clone".

A scientist was successful in cloning himself. He was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper. The scientist arrived with his clone and proceeded to the podium. The clone sat at the end of the head table. The scientist began the speech intending a tribute to the advances in the field of modern biology. "My fellow scientists," he began. But before he could utter another word, the clone sprang to his feet and shouted out a heap of abuse and swearing!". The crowd began to murmur as the scientist commanded the clone to "Sit down and shut-up!" Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, "My fellow scientists..." Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, swearing waving his arms about and abusing everyone in sight. Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window. The crowd gasped and security rushed more...