Comic Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why Men Always Have Opinions, Even On Subjects They Know Nothing About In the animal kingdom, males
exhibit what is known as "display behavior" in order to attract females and to ward off rival males.
They thrust out their chests, ruffle their plummage, and generally try to appear more impressive than
they really are. On nature shows, this is comic. It appears comic, too, when it shows up among
humans: the guy in the Camaro with all the gold chains, say, or Vanilla Ice's haircut. It has been
discovered that display behavior is much more common among humans than had been previously believed.
Have you ever wondered why:
Men who have never been west of Kentucky can tell you about the mentality of the Japanese?
Men who can't pay their credit-card bills have a plan for dealing with the national debt?
Men who aren't on speaking terms with their families know how to achieve peace in the Middle
East?
Men who flunked high-school more...

Knock Knock Who's there? Comic! Comic who? Comic and see me sometime!

An Al Qaeda terrorist serving 18 years for his involvement in a plot to bomb London was taught how to be a stand-up comic at his top-security prison.
Evil Zia Ul Haq was enrolled in an eight-day “comedy workshop” at Whitemoor jail, along with murderers and rapists. The 18 cons were given lessons in stand-up, comic drama, improvisation and scriptwriting. Once they “graduated” they were due to get a certificate and display their new talents with a comedy show for fellow inmates and guards.
On Thursday Justice Secretary Jack Straw canned the "totally unacceptable" course. He also vetoed a plan by the Category A Cambridgeshire prison to set up its own comedy club.

I know comedians have anger issues, but this is ridiculous.

This weekend, Comic Relief will be helping the victims of Hurricane Katrina. "We want to remind viewers that there are still many people who need help," said host Robin Williams, who will also remind viewers that loud does not equal funny.

SHOPPING FOR WOMEN

1. Park the car

2. Get a cart

3. Fill the cart with useful things in a record time.

4. Put the shopping in a rational way (All the fridge stuff together, groceries in a separate bag, etc)

5. Pay

6. Go back home.

7. Empty the bags and tidy everything up.

SHOPPING FOR MEN

1. Park the car

2. Get into the store.

3. Get out of the store and pick a cart.

4. Get into the store.

5. Stroll through all the corridors of the store.

6. Stop by the magazines and browse the last "Sport Illustrated"

7. Buy a pair of socks, 2 frozen pizzas, a case of beer, Sausages, pistachios and a comic (Optional: Foldable swimming pool in winter, two helmets for the kids in case they are going to use the bicycles, fertilizer (also in winter), some tools that he might use some day).

8. Don't worry about milk, bread more...