Commercials Jokes

Why are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word they say.

Why are men like commercials? You can't believe a word they say.

On Ads In Bills:
Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels... I write, "Could you throw this away for me? Thank You."
On Fabric Softener:
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me (sniff) 'Married' (walk off). That's how they mark their territory. You can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
On Cripes:
My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be, Jesus Cripe's? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?
On Morning Differences:
Men and women are different in the morning. more...

Elderly Man Sued for Stopping at Stop Sign
September 9, 2002 - Atlanta, USA
In a case possibly first of its kind, 67 year old Arthur Thompson is being sued by 32 year old Lynn Manaouski for stopping at a 4-way stop sign. In her statement she described how she came up to the intersection leading into her downtown condo, and rear ended the driver in front of her due to his 'complete and full stop'. She continues to say that of the almost 2 years of living in that particular condominium complex, she had not once been behind someone who had made a full stop at the stop sign, and that his inability to be 'consistent with typical driving patterns' caused the accident. As a result, she is convinced that Mr. Thompson is directly responsible for the accident and should be held accountable for all incurred costs of repair to both vehicles. When reminded that it is the law to make a complete stop at a stop sign, her abrupt response was "I am quite capable of deciding when it is a more...

THEME SONGS FOR THE VIAGRA COMMERCIALS
- Written by Eric Targan,
While Pfizer has had a lot of great press reagarding the launch of Viagra, the new male impotency medication, its marketing department has been working vigorously to develop its advertising campaign to augment its sales once all of the PR has died down.
While going through potential commercials, they realized that such an important medication needed a theme song to help its long term identity.
Here are a few of the top suggestions that came up in the meeting.
(Special Thanks to Regina for her help)
I am a Rock
- Paul Simon
Suddenly
- B. Ocean
A Hard Days Night
- The Beatles
Please Mr. Postman
Can't Buy Me Love (Now you can)
- The Beatles
Do That To Me One More Time
- Captain and Tenille
Everlasting Love
- The Bee Gees
Take Me Out To The Ballgame
Let Your Love Flow
- L. E. Williams
A Had Days Night
- The Beatles
Longer
- more...