Comrade Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Vietnamese couple who has been married for twenty years went to the wedding reception of a close comrade's daughter. During the ring exchange ceremony, the husband started to cry profusely.

The wife, surprised by her husband's emotional outburst, said, " I didn't realize that you have so much feeling to share with your comrade's happiness."

The husband replied, "No, you are wrong! That was not why I cried."

He continued, "Twenty years ago, your father caught us doing it, and threatened that if I don't marry you, your VC father will put me behind bars for twenty years. Weeping even louder, the husband said, "If I had just gone to jail, I would've been a free man by now. I made a big mistake. "

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Brezhnev, a former ruler of Russia, was thought not to be too bright. He comes to address a big Communist party meeting, and starts:"Dear Comrade Imperialists,"The whole hall perked up - "what did he say??" Brezhnev tried again..."Dear Comrade Imperialists,"Well, by now the hall was in pandemonium - was he trying to call them Imperialists? Then, an advisor walked over to the podium and pointed to the speech for Brezhnev. "Oh..." he muttered, and started again:"Dear Comrades, Imperialists are everywhere."

The Eastern European art of the political joke is in abeyance
in Poland right now, because what previously had to be veiled
can be, and is, said out loud. However, in the GDR and in Romania
freedom of speech hasn't broken ground yet.
A young member of the German communist party went to his senior comrade
with a strange request: he wanted permission from the Party to emigrate
to West Germany. (It is only with the permission of the Party that
people are allowed to leave East Germany. Often it is ''granted'' as
a method of eliminating people with inappropriate attitudes.)
''For what reasons could you possibly want to leave the Socialist
paradise, young comrade?''
''Well, sir, I have a main reason, and
a kind of side reason. The side reason is this: I know our Party
has established a paradise here in the Democratic Republic, but the
reason I want to leave is that I am very afraid that is will not last.''
''Don't worry, son! It more...

A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining", he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.

"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.

Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.

"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing".

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course", he replied, and walked on.

But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear".

Back in the old days of the Soviet Union, a Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
'I think it's raining,' he said to his wife.
'No, that felt more like snow to me,' she replied.
'No, I'm sure it was just rain,' he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.
Just then they saw a minor Communist Party official walking towards them.
'Let's not fight about it,' the man said. 'Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing.'
As the official approached, the man said, 'Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?'
'It's raining, of course,' he replied, and walked on.
But the woman insisted, ‘I know that felt like snow.'
The man quietly replied, 'Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!'

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Brezhnev, a former ruler of Russia, was thought not to be too bright. He comes to address a big Communist party meeting, and starts:"Dear Comrade Imperialists,"The whole hall perked up - "what did he say??" Brezhnev tried again..."Dear Comrade Imperialists,"Well, by now the hall was in pandemonium - was he trying to call them Imperialists? Then, an advisor walked over to the podium and pointed to the speech for Brezhnev. "Oh..." he muttered, and started again:"Dear Comrades, Imperialists are everywhere."

A Russian party-official arrives late at night to his hotel (in Russia). He is not surprised to find that his reservation has been mislaid but he is more than a little peeved that his status in the party isn't enough to get him a good room anyway. However, the clerk insists, the only bed they have left is the fourth bunk in a 4-bed dorm - he'll have to make do with that. The Russian grumbles but eventually he picks up his suitcase and heads for the dorm. On his way, he meets a chamber-maid and thinking he might as well try to make friends with his room-mates, he asks her to bring them four cups of tea.
As he enters the dorm, he finds that the other three guests are Polish, they are having a fairly wild party and they're very drunk. They also ignore him totally from the moment he enters. After sitting there for several minutes, he realizes he can't stand them anymore and decides to pull a joke on them.
He stands up, grasps a floor lamp and speaking into the light-bulb as if more...