Condom Jokes / Recent Jokes
Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly.Imagine the trademarks:Nike Condoms: - Just do It Toyota Condoms: - Oh what a feeling Ford Condoms: - The ride of your life Sony Condoms: - Do not underestimate the power of SonyMicrosoft Condoms: - Where do you want to go today? KFC Condoms: - Finger Licking Good M&Ms Condoms: - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands Coca-Cola Condom: - The Real ThingEver-Ready Condoms: - Keep going and goingMacintosh Condoms: - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple Pringles Condoms: - Once you pop, you can't stop
Q: what did the dick say to the condom?
A:cover me im going in
A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to burn some rubber.
When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, "What happened to the other five condoms?"
His nervous reply was, "Er, I masturbated with them."
Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, "Have you ever done that?"
"Yeah, once or twice," he told her.
"You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom before?" she asked.
"Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my girlfriend."
Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking
a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into
her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her
cigarette and continued to smoke. Sort of a raincoat for her
cigarette.
Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! What is it
that you put over your cigarette?"
The other old lady said, "It's a condom."
"A condom? Where do you get those?"
The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase
condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown,
the old lady with all the questions went into the pharmacy and asked
the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but
looked a little surprised that this old lady was interested in
condoms, but he asked her, "What size do you want?"
The old lady thought for a minute and then said, more...
Which condom would you use....
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just more...
* A "baby monitor." Makes those closed door meetings easier to hear.
* A pregnancy test kit with a positive result and an unsigned note saying: I told you that damn condom ripped.
* Put a piece of tape on the underside of his mouse. That way the ball doesn't roll and it will take the jerk and the IS department all day to figure it out.
* 32 beepers, all stashed in different places. (Borrow them from managers who are forced to wear them 24 hours a day.) Page a different beeper every 15 minutes. This works especially well if you also switch his morning decaf with espresso.
* First, simply hide pot seeds and watch as your clueless boss waters and nurtures the plants daily. Second, watch as escorted out of the building three months later by security.
* Thong, lace bra the morning after the company Christmas party.
* Nonchalantly drop lingerie and then kick it under the front of his desk (where he can't see it, but visitors can) early in the morning more...