Condom Jokes / Recent Jokes
The head nun at the convent says, "I found a pair of men's underwear under my desk!"Twenty nuns gasp, but one nun goes "Heh, heh, heh..."She says, "And I found a used condom on my desk!"Twenty nuns gasp, but one nun goes "Heh, heh, heh..."She says, "And there was a huge tear in the condom!"One nun gasps, but twenty nuns go, "Heh, heh, heh."
The counter man in the ice cream shop saw a customer leaving the drug store across the way, heading for his shop. The customer entered, set a small Thermos container on the counter, and unwrapped a condom.
“Here, take this condom. Drop a scoop of ice cream in it. ”
The counter man did so, and handed the condom, with its ice cream content, to the customer. The customer placed the arrangement in the Thermos jug, and capped the jug.
“What, ” asked the ice cream purveyor, “Is the reason for that? ”
“For three months, my wife has been bugging me for a deep freeze. Tonight, by golly, I’m going to give it to her! ”
A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom. The sales person comes back with the condom and says "Put this on your bill sir" to which the duck replies "what do you think I'M a dickhead!"
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the storelaughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there'sno law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, andonce again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest ofthe pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway? So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow himto see where he goes."Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, startscracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow theguy.About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store."Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.The clerk replies "Your house."
Two old ladies are standing at a bus station and one of them is smoking. Suddenly it starts raining so the smoking one takes out a condom from her purse, cuts the edge off and puts it over the cigarette. Her friend asks her: "What are you doing?!?" So she replies: "I don't want my cigarette to get wet so I covered it with a condom"
So her friend asks: "Whats a condom? Where did you get it?" So she says: "At the pharmacy" So the next day her friend goes to the pharmacy and asks the clerk if she can get a condom. The clerk asks: "What size?" So she replies: "I dunno, one that will fit a camel"
Why did the blonde insist her partner use a condom? She wanted to save a dogie bag for later.
Q. What do a woman and a condom have in common?
A. They spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.