Condom Jokes / Recent Jokes
A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom.
The sales person comes back with the condom and says "Put this on your bill sir" to which the duck replies "what do you think I'M a dickhead!"
A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom.The sales person comes back with the condom and says "Put this on your bill sir" to which the duck replies "what do you think I'M a dickhead!"
Two older women are sitting on a bench waiting for a bus. The first lady takes out a cigarette and starts to smoke. A minute later it begins to rain, so she takes out a condom, cuts off the end, and carefully places it over the cigarette to shield it from the rain. The second lady looks at that and says, "That's such a good idea, but what is that plastic thing?" "It's a condom," The first lady replies. "Well, where can you buy those?" the second lady asks." Um... Most people buy them at pharmacies." the first lady replies. So the second lady goes to a pharmacy and walks up to the counter. "Do you guys sell those condom things?" she asks the pharmacist. "Why yes we do," the pharmacist says a little confused, "Do you know what size you need?" So the lady says, "Well it's got to fit a Camel."
Advocates of the female condom are promoting a less costly, more user-friendly version that they hope will vastly expand its role in the global fight against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. Experts predict that this will replace the "headache" as the most popular form of female contraception.
Democrats announced today they are changing their emblem from a donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party's political stance.
A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks and gives a sense of security while screwing others.
* We were test-marketing the new "McTrojan."
* Condom, condiment--what's the damn difference?
* It still tastes better than the "Arch Deluxe."
* It was either there or in the vanilla shake.
* Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true.
* We're experimenting with a new, even happier "Happy Meal."
* So what... a regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway.
* Employees too embarrassed to say, "Would you like condoms with that?"
* Drive-thru speaker broken --"Coke with lots of ice" sounded like
"prophylactic device."
* When you're serving billions and billions, you can't be too careful.